It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly
Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
The Columbine massacre was on this date in 1999. Instead of energizing our country to get gun violence under control, it kicked off a new normal. One of the best explanations ever of journalism's destructive impact on mass shootings came from Roger Ebert in his review of Gus Van Sant’s “Elephant.”
looking good sir
Onion InfoWars product store showing "TURN YOUR GOLD INTO PISS" next to "TURN YOUR PISS INTO GOLD"
Losing my mind over how good this is
Let's put David Moyes back in charge of Man U. That would be a funny bit
black and white drawing of an underwater scene. a large bird sticking it's head into the water, surrounded by shocked fish
WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS
Guy who's "benzo stacking" (taking fistfuls of random benzos)
The Man Who Cucked Himself
Guy who's intentionally inducing AI psychosis in himself "just to see what it feels like"
this looks like a damn zine fair flyer
Sex positive doctors online: sometimes when jacking off the penis- or "cock" -there will be an emission of semen known as a "cumshot." A cumshot could go anywhere.
hi this sucks and i'm sorry my fraud attack at the beginning of the month in addition to increased health care costs have cut me to the bone if you can help it makes a huge difference
cash app: $jpreader
venmo: @JP_Reader
paypal: @jpreader
* the gofundme is linked to compromised bank account *
I feel like Diddy Kong under the effects of the disease
this is why it's your job to make your company slack as gay and communist as possible
Mamdani: If the NYC apartment you keep solely for bi-yearly affairs with your mistress costs over 5 million dollars, you gotta pay more tax
NYPD officer who’s been on disability since 2006 because he stomped too hard on a lady during an arrest and fucked up his ankle: This is a travesty
I've been watching entirely too much CNN lately (not by choice, long story) and I'll give Anderson Cooper a little bit of credit for repeatedly trying to bait guests into flatly saying Trump has dementia
I maintain that among the media's biggest mistakes has been continuing to ask Trump questions as if he's a normal guy instead of asking things like "Can you explain who Jesus is" or "Describe the process of pumping gas"
PLAYBOY SUBSCRIBE = For decades, meat has been a temperature check on American masculinity. From 2012 to 2016, millennial masculinity sizzled flamboyantly in a bright-eyed age of techno-optimist abundance. Strips of bacon garnished smoky cocktails. BuzzFeed built a 100-layer-lasagna to the sky. Salt Bae gold-leafed wagyu. Timelines teemed with juicy burgers that would gladly secrete molten cheddar when their buns were gently pressed. On the other hand, I had a buddy on Soylent at the time. He got a concussion. He passed out and hit his head on the countertop on the way down because he'd put some banana slices on top of his Soylent which was already calibrated for maximum potassium and he got potassium poisoning and nearly died.
lol
Exactly one year ago today:
George Lucas Saying “And then 'Senator Crappo' will be the guy who makes the taxes worse"
We should have never doubted this man
More guys in hoodies taking the subway together with their suspiciously, disproportionately hot GFs
I agree that people shouldn't be negatively polarized into treating the Catholic Church as a net good in the world but if you're pretending it's not funny that the pope saying "bombing schools is bad" made our government invent Anglicanism from first principles, you're just a buzzkill
I think my IG algorithm saw "sad 38 year old woman" and assumed I was going through a divorce
JUST IN: John Eastman, the conservative attorney who helped devise President Trump's last ditch strategy to overturn the 2020 presidential election, has officially been disbarred, per the California Supreme Court:
We need a hot lesbian indiana jones so badly. Kristen Stewart, please get on this. A hot lesbian indiana jones could heal the world. I believe this in my heart.
Guy who keeps saying "It's nice we finally have a gay pope now" and not understanding the looks he's getting
BG: cum cubers
Me: what?
BG: ya know. Cum cubers. The vegetable
working out at the gym and “not like us” just came on and everyone is nodding their head to it and I am reminded once again that nobody has ever lost a rap beef as hard as Drake other than people who were actually shot and killed
Not sure the Americans are prepared for just how much the British are going to keep making fun of them as the empire declines