hey bud!

even more pro tip: don’t have slack on your phone

chronic fatigue combined with severe burnout? so sick

soooo i may have started some big drama in one of those “are we dating the same guy” FB groups and you know what? good.

my three favorite recent compliments, in no particular order:

1) you’re the most irresponsible responsible person i know
2) you’re the gayest straight person i know
3) sometimes you laugh like winnie the pooh

gen-z gives us a lot of shit for the millennial pause but what the absolute FUCK is that phone shake thing they do before they record

hey psssst…you don’t have to slack me to tell me that you emailed me 🙂 hope this helps

oh nooooo not a tiktok influencer DMing me about how sad he is

you were absolutely correct

vacation forever

LA does wonders for my skin

airport tipsy is a different kind of tipsy

i love all my neighborhood friends but if one of these motherfuckers rings my doorbell to go out again like it’s 1997 i’m gonna lose it

i saw these today and was so tempted! might go get them now

only me dude lol

“can i show you my disc golf collection?”

I AM NOT MADE FOR THESE STREETS

i binge-watched jury duty last night (🥹) and got this today (😑)

i lead 7 teams which i’m starting to think is maybe too many teams

the spacing on this app is killing me