I think it should count as medical malpractice to end an episode the way The Pitt did this week.

If I ever have a stroke I hope it's the 'of genius' kind.

I'm done with doctors. I'm gonna start going to the school nurse again instead.

When you order fast food there should be a timer that gets started and every minute over 5 minutes it takes to get your food should take a dollar off of your order. What the fuck are you paying full price for garbage for if it isn't fast?

Trump talking about releasing alien files will never distract me.

Today is the 18th anniversary of the family guy episode "Back to the Woods". The one where James Woods steals Peter's identity to get revenge on him and Brian.

I know that because my wife and I had our first kiss while watching it.

It's 3 feet of fruit per package of Fruit by the Foot. So, if you eat 1,760 of them you can achieve the full Fruit by the Mile. I hope to one day achieve this great feat.

Remember that scene in Independence Day with the helicopter that has like 100 lights on it and it's just blasting them at the ship? I'm pretty sure that is the design inspiration for every single fucking car on the road now.

I owe so much to whoever the absolute freak was that first ate cheese.

I'm convinced 50% of Linda Hamilton's footage in Stranger Things 5 is just her wandering around on set not exactly sure where she is or aware that a take has started.

I don't think it is possible to give less of a shit about a villain than I do about Vecna.

I hate Snoopy and apparently that is one of my most controversial opinions.

I love Columbo so much but this has got to be one of the most insane moments I've ever seen in any TV show.

My daughter found my old 3DS and has been using it to play smash bros. I opened it to check the battery and noticed she was mid match with this rather unfortunate Mii I saved on there back in 2014 lol.

At least I got to experience greatness for a few moments in time. Most men can only dream of it.

I'd like to start by thanking my parents for teaching me that if you follow your heart anything is possible.

We can all agree that Hollywood remakes should focus on bad movies that had the potential to be great, and that's why it's so frustrating that no one at Paramount will respond to my emails demanding they remake Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.

Motorcycles please just chill the fuck out okay.

Just realized Taylor Swift has a new album. I'm going to do my best to appreciate this small window I have before I'm unwillingly subjected to half the songs on it every time I am near a radio or step foot in a target for the rest of my life.

Accidentally got the sleeves on my sweater a little wet so I guess my life might as well be over.

What is going on in this picture from the back of a wireless NES zapper gun I have? Who puts their TV on a dresser to the side of their couch? And why are their two glasses of liquor on the table while this kid plays alone?

I'd like to issue an apology. That should say "whomever".

Just wanna say fuck you to whoever makes the decision for these apps to have their names in lowercase in the icon, and then properly capitalized in the actual name.

I like to think of myself as a Stinky Diver but deep down I know I'm just a Melt Man.

This dude from The Tower level background

I think the new Mortal Kombat movie should end the first act with Shang Tsung performing a babality on Johnny Cage. Then the rest is basically just 3 Men and a Baby but with Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and Reptile as the dads.

a truck driver delivering snails breaks down on the side of the road. he needs to make his escargot cargo car go.

Saw a billboard that said "Swallowing angry words is a lot easier then eating them" - God

👨‍🍳💋

You're right. I fucking hate Scott Foster and when Bennedict Mathurin and Miles Turner forget how to play or make shots at the worst time.

I fucking hate basketball