Sorry, momma. Unfortunately, you chose wrong, and now you have to suffer The Curse of the White Boy™.

Vibes.

Hey, so - just real talk with me for a second, boss?

Like, ignoring the 'overall ramifications' of what you're doing, and how this is gonna ruin a lot of people's trust in you.

I just wanna know why you're doing it. Not even in a 'I'm gonna be mad' way, I'm just genuinely curious.

Don't even joke, lad.

'Questions to be asked'. I already know the fucking answers! This is textbook stuff.

Watch, in about five minutes, the wrong one's gonna be brooding on a skyscraper, monologuing to himself.

YO, AUNTIE!!!

Wanna help me kill a Spider-Man?

Oh!

Well, guess I gotta kill Uncle Ben. Sucks, really. Thought we were turning a new leaf this year.

...ooohhhhhhhh, I see what's happening here. He - Yup. Yeah... No, yeah, I recognize this one.

Unfortunately, I kinda can't do shit about this? I did the same thing to May back home, so???

I guess I'm on Unc's side.

my 'i'm about to get very pissed off' senses are tingling...

eh, y'all got it. good luck.

should I... be concerned, or?

Thank you~ Learned it from the best!

You're good, mama. Have a good rest of your day, yeah?

I didn't say anything? I just thanked you for chiming in

...great.

Well, thanks for sharing your self-defense routine!

...MJ, it's the 90s. I don't need 'money', I have pretty privileges.

Skill issue, shorty, buy a suppressor.

Another day in beautiful NYC! 80 degrees today, better not leave anything to chance.

"...weirdest flirting ritual of all time. It's not even 9am yet, man."

( 1000% )

She's the blueprint. She's the architect.

...i think MJ might be the woman of all time.

Girlhood is a spectrum, sure...

I've seen my mom wear every single one of these outfits her life.

Runway event at the House of Van Dyne last night...

Had to dip in mom's closet for a heat check. Think she'd be proud...

They SHOULD be married, he's so right.

'The Spider-Man went on to become the most beloved person in all of New York City

With the sole exception of Mary Jane Watson, of course.'

✨ Husband and Wife ✨
#maryjanewatson #spiderman

You're my favorite dad, dad. I always want you to win, even when I'm beating you up.

Go get 'em, Parker.

Honestly? Let them cook. Inexplicably, they both really like you. Take this L quietly, and with a little bit of comedy, and somehow... you'll manage to swing it around to something you'll appreciate.