Im being so honest, I genuinely wanna know what this means. Just scrolling thru my feeds btw and this caught my eye because I had to google "old guy from--" and Im just laughing in confusion. 😭

There's a joy to be had when you can make someone shut the hell up by putting their own exact words back in their mouth lmaoa. Have the sleep you deserve.

Infograph about censorship. It compares it to magnets.

Sorted my thoughts about censorship, so I can stop thinking about it.

They’re out there 🦊🐺🦡🐀🐦‍⬛

And there are more and more everyday.

psa do not call alters “personalities“ it is an outdated terminology and harmful to do so !!

the shocker in a pinball coin door coin return

always remember to show your pinball machines some love. they have needs too you know

Bedtime was a few hours ago.

I think I will leave. Silently with a smile. I don't feel appreciated or welcome in the very place I've nurtured and sacrificed so much for. Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe it'll all be one big regret. I don't know. I don't know. The uncertainty of everything in my life makes me so powerless.

Not to be on my high horse, but I'm an organizer for furry events in my local city. If I disappeared, no one would care. But I care so much about them. And for what? A thankless position that I've been in for 3 years? Such a fucking scam of what I only wanted to be a lovely hobby.

The only thing I know I can depend on in my life is abuse. This dependency is scaffolding of rituals and knowing I will be dehumanized like I always have been. I can become nothing again, like I did before HS. But it is so painful. I will lose everything even more in the time that I have been alive.

I have never been so lost or confused. I have never been this unwilling to move. "The only way out is up" from the bottom, where I'm broken. But I can't. I want to, I think. I want out. But I don't know how. No one is coming to save me. No one has to... But here I am, caving into this outlet.

No more ideas, no more hope, no more faith, no more trust, no more readiness. There is nothing anymore. Not even a reflection when I look into a mirror. I wish there was the person who was ready for anything looking back at me again. I think she disappeared on a hot night sleeping in our car.

I guess, I logically do know how I'm alive. I just haven't died. And, see... I don't want to die. I don't want to end it all. But it's so lonely. Which is ironic, because I'm plural. But all of us together... and we don't have any solutions. There is no more for us to exert. No more plans...

And after some more bullshit from MP, with her using me as a pawn for her evil, she kicked me out of the house she has and left me to fumble on the streets. Slept in my car, in and out of friends houses... since August 2025. It's been so fucking miserable. I don't know how I'm alive.

But my idiot self went running to her due to some other crazy circumstances I was in where ANOTHER PERSON was trying to kill me. Why do people want me dead? Why don't they just fucking do it? Why doesn't anyone succeed in killing me? Make it fucking count, you pathetic cowards.

If she would've shot me clean in the head, because there would be no more me to wonder of anything.

MP (maternal parent), by the way, is someone who, during my whole life, genuinely tried to kill me multiple times. Trafficked me away to California, tried to stab me, beat me endlessly, held me at gunpoint and was gonna shoot me in the head. She could've. I cannot wonder what life would be --

And then it was all gone. Not just spontaneously, but after a long series of manipulation, abuse, and deceit from the people I was supposed to ""trust."" Not even people. Just the maternal parent who birthed my unfortunate body.

I had a beautiful plan to transfer to earn my bachelors, to get an apt by the campus, to get a barista or work study job. I had it all there. Every step. Every location, every contact. It was all right in my hands. And then... it just... all blew up. Burned before me and burnt me with it.

Earning your associates in business in its final stretch, and then you become homeless right as you earn it, it's so discouraging. It feels like nothing. I got my degree and all I could do was cry. A piece of paper has solved nothing for me. That sounds stupid to say, but I had this beautiful plan.

But, hmm... So much I want to get out, suddenly. I've never EVER vented online like this. Ever. It feels scarier than I anticipated. I don't know what I want out of this. I don't know if I want to be heard, and maybe I'll be seen just at a glance. I just feel so lonely. Not just that. I feel alone.

I'm honestly rambling, reminiscing over HS. It provided a routine. A reliable structure that you HAD to follow or else there were consequences. I never wanted to get punished more than I already was for just existing. I wasn't valedictorian, but I was pretty high up there. I really did my best.

Highschool was a bit nightmarish, only because that was my first time living. I was a prisoner in an abusive household literally unknown to the whole world since I was born. I started highschool when I was... 14. That's when I really like to benchmark when my life "began. When I was finally alive.

With the burdens of my past... I still kept myself going forward. I completed high school when I literally have no schooling before entering 9th grade. Learned how to do division, multiply, and barely made it thru.

I got into college, and... I learned so much more besides writing essays.

I have never been so detached from my own life. Absent. And I've been in a nonstop dissociative state... my whole life, as I understand it. My entire childhood was abuse and torture, to say the least. I didn't have a "life" until 2019. If I would've died, no one would've ever known I existed.

I have never "not cared" about my own life. I've always continued forward with a sense of determination. A dozen of plans in my grasp. A strong sense of readiness. Even if I got hit by something, I could get back up and still look ahead. I could misstep and still catch my footing.

A mario figurine with a blue police cap instead of his regular red one

Chris Pratt

System flag Commission available on Ko-fi.com

Hello all! Mod sys is having a struggle with sustaining themselves so we are offering a little gig over on our Kofi for fun! Would anyone like a pride flag tailored to their system in any given way? We would love to design a flag for you for cheap!
ko-fi.com/c/6ab73909bb

freebie made for a friend as a further example :3

Can’t wait for the premades to drop!! :D I’m so excited!!!