Props to Katie for actually giving a real answer reply though

a woman is talking to another woman and says i have a fifth sense . ALT: a woman is talking to another woman and says i have a fifth sense .

If you’re that psychic…

It’s gym day but I forgot my headphones DURING ROAD WORK SEASON on a Wednesday. This means I get to go straight home through shit traffic only to turn around and head back to the gym and then do it again.

Got one step closer to dual citizenship today 🦅 🍁 🦬 🫎 🇺🇸 🇨🇦

I always find these people on vacation 1000 miles away

If I’m both, is this why I’m single?

When I was a kid and even well into my 20s, I thought my dad’s sneezes were absurdly loud, mine were nothing like that. Now I think I sneeze as loud as he does. I don’t know how this happened.

Had to deliver a package to a business next door to a dispensary today. With a shared parking lot and all. I felt like I was at a Trader Joe's parking lot.

Yeah that sounds perfect. It’s like every forbidden food on your way out of PV. Greasy everything, milkshakes…

Is it in the airport? (Haven’t been since ‘01)

Screenshot full of notifications from the Citizen App indicating several different “disturbances” and fights taking place at a nearby stadium concert for a controversial but popular country musician

I guess M**gan Wal**n is in town because literally all of these reports are at the stadium

Gays stay winning 🎉

Every time I fly on a Tuesday morning: basically no lines at the airport anywhere, gate area doesn’t look crowded at all, nice and quiet. Boarding starts and then suddenly “THIS IS A COMPLETELY FULL FLIGHT THIS MORNING”

22F degrees in Minneapolis this morning. Quite cold for April. Which is the perfect timing for me to go to Palm Springs where it will be 90F this afternoon. Yes I will be costume changing in an airport bathroom stall.

Because Prince said so.

I normally run my errands on Sunday and did not make any adjustments this weekend except oops it's fucking Easter 🤦🏼‍♂️

All it takes is ONE random drunk woman at the bar to be constantly screeching every 30 seconds to make the vibes absolutely obnoxious. Like good god get a grip girl

I think of this scene all the time

Sending my condolences 😿

Lady Gaga is 40! Happy birthday Mother Monster! We’re almost the same age (about a year apart) and I still remember her big break when I was in college. Time flies

For some reason around here they opened a ton of locations in the 2010s, most of which have since closed because they suck and idk what their strategy was supposed to be.

So I only block if someone is really pestering me, but I’ve definitely noticed a “random new hot guy” on the apps, went to send a message, only to discover that I previously ignored several “hey”s over the years. Not sure if he got hot or just used to not have a pfp though

There are way too many bible schools around here.

Same, this is what I buy (aluminum gives me a rash) and it’s great. Tons of different scents too

That’s how it happens! I’m constantly maiming myself and it’s always when I’m doing something mundane. I have a scar on my left hand from when I got a framed employee of the month certificate and immediately managed to snap the glass and snag my hand in it. And still had to do my shift after that.

Gonna be hilarious if the stock market skids for five years and Pam Bondi irrelevantly boasting about the Dow hitting 50,000 “dollars” was the exact turning point.

The dance floor? Confessed upon.

As someone who was privy to the TV story when it happened (and as a comical injury-prone person myself), I kinda want to hear this one.

The damn beginner cookbook I had in college always told me to wash chicken in every recipe and it was such a hassle and got water everywhere too… smh why did that instruction get approved? It was even a Betty Crocker book too