Because they can. 🦵🦆

I pondered lonely as a cloud. ☁️

Then made a cup of tea. 🫖

#AuthorLife
#WriterSky

I think my plan to watch Cleopatra on this Bank Holiday Monday has gone awry as I didn’t get up early enough.

#AuthorsLife

Brink’s-Kat.

(Do you see what I did there?)

This one's on my watch list! 👀

Just lately I’ve been finding my attention span... Hi there! ✍️

#AuthorLife
#WriterSky

The kettle has gone through a major double descaling operation but I noticed some rogue bits of limescale when I made my tea. It feels like that bit at the end of a film when the Final Girl thinks the killer is dead but then discovers him hiding in the grandfather clock. 💦

#AuthorLife
#WriterSky

As an extension to this issue, I ended up paying for some joker’s entire shopping basket in Waitrose last week. Wretched machines!

Is it fair that I equate the latest shrinkage of Jaffa Cakes in both size and number to watching Ben-Hur on a 1980s portable TV in 4:3 aspect ratio? 📺

#WritingCommunity
#WriterSky

I had one from somewhere which said "Our records show that you opted out of Mother's Day emails last year. Would you like to opt out of them again this year?" Felt like saying my mother had miraculously risen from the grave so, no, I wouldn't like to opt out. ⚰️💐

I’ve never forgiven Meridian for stopping making Grapefruit Breakfast Spread. 😔

That’s basically me and a Jammie Dodger.

Jewelry McJewelface.

(Sorry!)

I'm currently watching the BBC version from 1978, then will watch the 1939 and 2011 films. Friend has just recommended the 1967 version with Ian McShane. It's a Wuthering Heights-off!

“This man sprinkles pressure on his breakfast cereal” has got to be the best line of commentary of the entire Winter Olympics, let alone the Freeski Halfpipe. Writers kill to invent lines like that. ⛷️

#WinterOlympics
#WritingCommunity

🥌 Curling

⛷️ Jumping around on skis

⛸️ Speeding around on skates

🫖 The one where they go down that ice chute at 80 miles an hour on a metal tea tray

Today’s “am writing” status update:

Nothing. Not a sausage. 🌭

Today’s “am watching the Winter Olympics” status update:

Backside fused to sofa since breakfast. ⛸️

#WritingCommunity
#AmWriting

Earlier I had traditional Rich Tea biscuits. I feel duty-bound to inform the community that the dunkability factor of these perennial favourites is at least 12/10. 🫖

Writing day so far:

☑️ Wake up too early

☑️ Go back to sleep

☑️ Wake up at normal time

☑️ Get up

☑️ Stagger around like The Walking Dead

☑️ Compile component parts of breakfast in wrong order

☑️ Fall asleep into Cornflakes

#AuthorLife
#AmWriting (when I've woken up)

Was it on "New Years"?

This reminds me of the time when only one solitary person turned up to my 21st birthday party – including me. 😳🎂

It’s similar with “Accession”. It spawned a generation of siblings who started fighting over who gets granny’s false teeth after she departs this mortal coil. 🦷

I am a proud Marianette! (That's what writers are called if they take this course – fact!) Marian is such a calming influence. She makes you believe you can do it and not to worry if you feel you can't. The message is YOU CAN DO IT!

ME: Why do my Cornflakes taste funny?

INNER ME: Because you poured water on them instead of milk.

ME: Where’s the milk?

INNER ME: Boiling in the kettle and slowly destroying it.

ME: You couldn’t write this stuff!

🐄🥣

#WritingCommunity
#AuthorLife

Me speaking to an official at the stop-off point when I ended up circumventing the planet because of a cancellation:

ME: Excuse me, can you tell me where I go next?

HER: Why don't you read your ticket?

ME: Because I've been travelling for 24 hours and my eyes don't work.

HER: Read your ticket.

I love these covers, especially “Poison”. 📚🎨

As I stayed up late last night to watch the Super Bowl in its entirety, today I will mostly be trying to stop my head from falling onto my keybjd9[o=3oerohfkf,;' sfjs

I believe I do not subscribe to the platform which showcases this popular piece of televisual entertainment. Is it something to do with bridges? 🌉

It’s time for the Winter Olympics. I’ve already watched a whole Curling match BEFORE the opening ceremony! Am I in some kind of time warp? If so, does this mean I’ve finished my novel without actually realising it? 🏔️⛸️📚

#AuthorLife
#WritingSky

Here's my method:

1. Cry
2. Cry some more
3. Eat chocolate (whilst crying)
4. Watch romcom (and cry)
5. Wonder what you've been crying about
6. Write book instead