Gushers don’t gush like they use to

The beaches collab with Disney is everything!

death certificates are birth certificates for ghosts.

Wow that really happened

it happens. 🤣😭

THERAPIST: Pick your battles

ME: I PICK THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Girl bossed way too hard….

I'm at a lost. 😟

Buying new pillows requires more research than buying a new car

This is the bad place

What is happening

January 1st emails be like: Happy New Year! We are increasing your rates by 5%

Lizzie McGuire is top tier tv idc

I have a firm understanding of basic math.

Example: I have two cupcakes and I’m going to eat them both.

Austin Powers era was a vibe

What if--and hear me out now--being born American doesn't make you a better person than someone who was not born American?

Sounds like little D problems

Pretty sure my Spotify thinks I am gay and I am totally okay with that.

It was all a dream

From now until January 6th, time and vegetables do not exist, they’re merely suggestions.

Love me a good sketch

Late to the party but Saturday Night is absolutely amazing

This is the least festive holiday season ever 😭

[sexting]
He: What are your measurements?

She: 36, 24, 36, 19, 72, 54, 2, 14,

He: WTF

She: I A M T H E K R A K E N

Reblog reblog reblog

I love people who have straight-up authentic energy with no sneaky shit or hidden agendas. The ones with open hearts and gentle souls.

Santigold is so underrated