Extremely targeted marketing

Half a box of Mac n cheese and half a can of chicken breast has about the same macros as a "high protein" factor meal 🤔

I honestly don't know how gays on Instagram keep getting away with nudes under the Delete This gif in Close Stories when I very nearly had my account suspended for a stray pube 😭

Heated thong discourse on my timeline today

hell is other people talking to you in the lounge of the jiffy lube

This dog is 6 years old today 😱🎂

And it's a happy coincidence that tomorrow is #InternationalPoppersDay 🎉

😅

The scale said 169.9 this morning

Partly why I quit making content. The word has been memed so hard it doesn't mean anything anymore.

the last time a president made it a goal to put humans on the moon he didnt live to see it happen 🤞🏻

If I have to see one more Tomodachi life demo reel talking about gooning I swear to God...

See leather, post leather

(Especially another green leather pup 🐶)

"it was so nice to meet you"

Bro I just saw your hole gape this morning on bsky

It was the last set of my last exercise so Pull Day was still accomplished 💪🏻🐺

If I do the foot pics will be $2000 lol

Well I dropped a 55lb dumbbell on my foot. Will send bruised foot pics. $20

JOIN US TONIGHT AT BAR:PM! @ 8pm for the Meet and Greet and Pet Talent Show! Tomorrow @ 5pm for Education then stay for all the fun!

How do they expect me to walk by these totally-not-bukkake photos every day???

Huan Zhang
Foam series, 1998

Can't wait for the Mosh next weekend? Then join us for a Pet Play Social on Wednesday March 18th at 8PM at Bar:PM for Pre-Mosh Romp featuring a fantastic panel of speakers!

a husky dog is playing with a stuffed animal and making a funny face with its mouth open . ALT: a husky dog is playing with a stuffed animal and making a funny face with its mouth open .

Why did cubist painter Juan Gris paint so many food and table still lives?

Because he was always Juan-gry 😋🫃

6K and I haven't posted a dick pic in almost a year. You must like my ✨personality✨ as well :P

I was like "oh. Thanks" 😒

🚩 Bartender at a gay bar calling a pup collar a necklace

This is not a popper... This is VCR cleaner. Gotta put that Art History Master's degree to use

www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Ce...

"He's Excited to Meet You" on a church marque sounds like a threat

On the phone: "do you sell poppers?"
Me: "we do not sell poppers we sell VCR cleaner" 😉
Them: *sigh* ok *click*

...

I guess they didn't hear me wink

"I need a full body big booty sex doll I can stuff my Johnson in"

Who tf calls it their Johnson anymore

Locking in til summer 🏝️

Curious to pet play? Join us at Bar:PM from 5pm to 7pm on Saturday March 21st for PET PLAY 101.5! Where our educators will be covering topics like the basics, the history can caring for the gear!

$50 of Legos doesn't stretch like it used to