He pilots the Beast for only me!!

On my way, babe. 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

Its lesbian visibility week. Go out and kiss a butch about it.

At work and all I can think about is my paneer tikka masala leftovers at home. 😭😭

I think one of my biggest and only issues with living in Virginia is that Skyline and GoldStar chili restaurants don't exist here. I want a coney so bad right now.

For this evenings listening pleasure I present:
A kazoo rendition of the Astronaut Highschool fight song.

April 20th:
My Lesbian Wedding Anniversary,
Beginning of Lesbian Visibility Week,
The start of Taurus Season....

I am the most visible lesbian today and no one can convince me otherwise.

Immediately followed by Jump in the line. Didn't know we had a music icon DJing at the Shmole Shmoods Shmeat Shmepartment this morning.

The meat department is BLASTING Careless Whisper.

✨Effervescent✨

Okay but I think Loki actually just played a trick on me. ???????What just happened?????

It's time for bed.

Seeing visions of a future I want SO BADLY today. Foaming at the mouth about it.

Not Check Yes, Juliet playing while I'm making buttered noodles at 2 am. Jeez everything is making me feel old tonight. 🤣💀

The app to make Dr. appointments is supposed to make it EASIER for me to make them but that would REQUIRE THE DAMN APP TO WORK FIRST. 😅💀😅

And while he may look angry I'd venture to say he may be feeling a bit.... blue...

I was completely immersed in so much weirdness and love and fun and all my favorite people during Fringe and now I'm alone and without a task for the first time in 4 days.

Suddenly I am feeling rather lonely.

And they did it during your Fringe birthday dinner.

Oh that poor Vimes. Minding his own business then BAM...CATffeinated.

Just broke up the community picnic my eyebrows were trying to organize.

Got up to pee and now my pillow feels wrong. Universe please. I already have zero will to live and now this????

Today while trying to date an antique heirloom fiddle my wife acquired I heard something... rattling around inside of it. Upon further inspection the following words left my mouth:

"Oh my FUCKING god it's a RATTLESNAKE RATTLE!!!!!"

💀💀💀💀

Having a really hard time this morning, Scoob.

Hey Chris, what happened to your legs?

Thanks for asking. I think they fell off at work.

Currently battling(untangling)the most fucked up yarn skein I've ever...sein. But I think I'm winning???

These 10 minute breaks go by way too fast. 💀

Hey chat should I leave early today? I simply cannot be expected to stay here any longer.

Some days my ADHD is stronger than my medicine. But today???

✨I took the drugs and the drugs are working✨

Not Nala trying to eat my peepaw snacks. Girl it's just a saltine cracker.

Sometimes I wear a flowy house dress to relax in. It makes me feel like a long haired cat. ✨

Also imagine moving to a city on a recommendation I DIDN'T GIVE YOU because I DON'T LIKE YOU and then getting mad that I won't be your free tour guide.

Mhmmm likely story!