Spaghetti carbonara

Crumbs, I'll need a new qualifier for my carbonara

Sure sex is great (I'm told) but have you ever had CARBONARA?

Adventures In Making Carbonara and Salad When You Have A Cat Who Loves Parmesan and Lettuce

Eating egg whites is exciting when the yolks are for carbonara to come.

Barnard Gumbel is SHOCKED

GLAD "Forceflex Strengthguard" my ass. Where's the Hefty Hefty cinch sack when you need it?

Yeah, probably did it on porpoise.

...well, that's the end of me.

Fin.

If ever there was a night to mix peanut butter with chocolate ice cream and chase it with scotch

L-e-e-e-opold!

He's all bent out of shape just because I answered his call with, "You batarang?"

Leopold!!

Hot damn! Put PAM out to pasture!

The Tall-Tale Heart: as told by Paul Bunyan's cardiologist

Yes and you may have one as a practitioner of proper pizza etiquette.

Slice this chef's heart to shreds by discarding his perfectly crispy pizza crusts

I bear the scars of someone who steps barefoot around a crazed orange cat

Paperback copy of Pratchett's Soul Music on a bench

Why yes I do have a workout playlist (I read between sets)

Sucks that the vacuum's power switch broke, but at least it's stuck in the ON position

collapsing from dehydration after miming the action *drink* to my mother for the millionth time

Sounds like it was named by Homer Simpson.

Still waiting to be paid for damage to my car, driving around with the trunk open, watching out for hop-ins.

Metal plaques of the Super Mario Bros. 1, 2 and 3 boxart, obtained with My Nintendo platinum points.

Collection complete!

Did MY taxes early (yesterday)

Grandpapa Addams (The New Addams) S1:E6 YouTube video by Addams Family Podcast

New Episode! Ooo it's an on medication, awkwardly sexy, doozy! We chat about "sexy" John Adams, Michael Chiklis, Brutalist Wagner, Halloween TV movies, audio sponges, Stand up Comedy, Addams family, & more! Tell your friends. Tell everyone you know!

youtu.be/6iEHU2hLqtI?...

First of many or is Tut uncommon?

Makes me want a jaunty little top hat and monocle for mine.

E.T. sitting in a Flaming Moe glass absolutely SERVING

Sheer SASS

Unquestionably the hottest candidate.

Manatee in Miami Dolphins hat next to E.T. in a Flaming Moe glass. Marshmallow Man lurks in thr background with Groundskeeper Willie.

Who should my new mascot be: Miami Manatee or Flaming E.T.?