I know that I only lost an hour, but I feel like I lost three.

Capitalism's greatest victory occurred in 1989 when a group of children in East Berlin yelled Hey! Kool-Aid!

I was not expecting kids to be still trick or treating when I got home from work.

Okay, the first seven kids will the packet of noodles that comes with a wonton soup or chow mein order.

The rest will get to choose between a ziploc bag full of olives or a pickle in a ziploc bag.

If the rapture comes tomorrow, I'll probably be on the reference desk, so I'd get a concussion from hitting the ceiling and then break both legs as I fall once it ends.

And next year it will be known as the Department of @ss kicking.

Some poor guy's trying to figure out what to do with a warehouse full of Pope Pizzaballa Merch.

Somewhere an orphanage has been saved because a nun was inspired by a dream and bet her last twenty bucks on the Papal Conclave.

Neil deGrasse Tyson just proved that Bruno Mars isn't a planet.

Alice Fraser said on the Gargle podcast that the reward for morality is sleeping well at night. The ads on her show were for noise cancelling earbuds that helps one fall asleep. The advertisers have judged the morality of her listeners.

www.thebuglepodcast.com/the-gargle

Facebook needs to add an exasperated sigh emoji for reacting to posts regarding current events.

Fred Flintstone is a Hannah Barbarian.

What's your character?

It's very sad that when we hear that a sexual predator had their nomination withdrawn that we have to google which predator.

If a Civil War breaks out, meet me at the library.

They don’t know where, or what it is!

That Delta CEO gets what he wants out of presidents.