This is NOT what Catholics and Protestants are about. They're about *opens history book*

uh oh

*Frantically starts flipping though pages*

uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh

Putting my money down now that Mr. Beast will end up a keynote speaker at the RNC in 2028

Don't give me a reason, Pop Tart.

Good morning happy earth day

The implicit media consensus is that urban voters should not be able to overrule rural voters, but that rural voters should be able to overrule urban voters, an assumption so axiomatic and unquestionable that nobody even understands they're making it.

Screenshot from King of the Hill Season 5, Episode 14

And, once all of the students have been silenced, point to the lack of protest as a sign that the original protests were disingenuous because "where are all the protests now?"

Inspector Gadget has a violent origin story

Pretty sure Hegseth and RFK Jr are Russian plants meant to destroy the US military from the inside. So... that's one positive thing.

Umamusume: Pretty Derby is better than Dilbert.

Tim and Eric InfoWars, Great Job!

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

The big problem is that they are now CEOs of the biggest tech companies in the world instead of a dude playing acoustic guitar in a field and their weird narcissism is actually effecting our day to day life

Pothole is such an interesting word because you take two of the best things ever and put them together to make a thing everybody hates

When someone pronouces it "da super mehrio brudders" this is the mehrio they're talking about

Real power is workers demanding “do this or you won’t make profit this week” and then following through. That is power.

Quit my job at the gas station so I can go full-time streaming myself playing a game about working at a gas station

A grid photo of 16 different characters all played by the legend Tim Curry.

Tim Curry, the absolute legend, turns 80 today. This man took huge swings.

Her other two secrets for keeping the mind sharp for a century+ were daily puzzles (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku) and not having a husband lol

I'm gonna read a bible verse to the cashier at mcdonalds and if they don't give me a free big mac then they're the bad guy, that's just how it works

Look, for my money the absolute game changer technologies right now are batteries and biosciences, not statistically modeling a mid conversation, but you do you.

Pregnancy vaccine reduces baby hospital admissions for RSV by 80% A study confirms the vaccine gives excellent protection for babies against life-threatening chest infections.

Vaccines are humanity’s greatest scientific achievement.

Oil? Well...

The Iran War is over if you’re at the White House, still going on if you leave. Kind of a Severance thing.

Alien 1 is about how your employer will sacrifice you for profit.
Alien 2 is about how your country will sacrifice their soldiers for company profit.
Alien 3 is about how the prison complex is also a disposable-human profiteering operation.
Alien 4 is about for-profit healthcare.

Lifted weights AND got the grass cut, in addition to other chores. Winning today.

Most well-balanced men with good intentions and healthy relationships aren’t striving to become influencers and this is how the manosphere continues to flourish