It’s just consistently bad

I wonder if there was a joke about Jack Whitehall performing at that Saudi comedy festival but it was ditched in the Riyadh-through #SNLUK

I’m going to assume whoever mixes the sound for live music on #SNLUK is getting fired.

Happy St Patrick’s Day to all celebrating and St Partick’s day to corporate social media accounts who don’t spell check and fellow jags everywhere.

Eric Cantona kicks a racist in the sternum on the very first Kick A Racist In The Sternum Day

Happy Kick A Racist In The Sternum Day to all who celebrate

Time to watch a yellow lecture.

Trump in Davos, Switzerland:

"Without us, right now you'd all be speaking German".

German is the main language of Switzerland.

a cartoon of homer simpson holding a card ALT: a cartoon of homer simpson holding a card

“There are windmills all over Europe.
There are windmills all over the place.
And they are losers!”

It's a mystery to me why our oligarch-owned press apologise for and feel kinship with an oligarchical US president put their by oligarchs to serve the oligarch interest.

Yes! A trip to Sainsbury’s is in order.

I’m now wanting them. I’m 44

Good to see the Daily Mail haven't changed in 80 years - still egging on an authoritarian far right takeover of the UK.

“Whenever you see a cabin in the woods you just think of every horror film going”

Really?

#TheTraitors

“The Epstein files are sitting on my desk right now ready to review”

#Traitors

I’ve just started watching that Bowie documentary on Channel Four and got an idea for a band name. Like the Ramones where everyone was given the surname Ramone but everyone is given the first name Timothy and we play Bowie covers.

Tim Machine

Donald Trump is so obviously going to annex Greenland.

And European leaders will respond with unparalleled levels of "monitoring the situation".

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
In the ocean, the freezing ocean

Finally getting round to watching the first #Traitors episode. Everyone who knows anything about the north of Scotland, say it with me “That train goes nowhere near Ardross Castle”

He's still a cunt, then.

I just bought a sandwich from here and they asked me if I am now, or have ever been, a member of the Communist Party.

RIP, H. Oh, wait no, the other one. And also very much not RIP.

It’s almost like Jared Leto is shite

FT' Greenock Morton 1⃣ Partick Thistle 1⃣

Points shared in Greenock

#GMFCvPTFC #WeAreThistle

*Where

#CelebrityTraitors

#celebritytraitors

Not just because of #CelebrityTraitors Jonathan Ross can fuck off