You can catch up on this week's #BreakingTheNews here and enjoy some stuff by us!
( @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me)
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Des Clarke asks about a tactic that the Duolingo HR department uses when recruiting new staff ...
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Björk is throwing a rave in Iceland to coincide with the total solar eclipse on August 12. The local council has raised objections about the level of noise from the event, but she’s assured them it’ll be ‘oh so quiet’.
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A data breach at travel giant Booking.com is leading to a fresh wave of scams recently dubbed "reservation hijacks". Their IT department thought their systems were safe, as hackers could only enter after 2pm and must be out around breakfast the next day.
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Chatbots such as ChatGPT frequently produce inaccurate and incomplete medical information. Medics were particularly concerned when it said humans have two hearts and can regenerate when killed, so they’ve disconnected Grok from re-runs of Doctor Who on the iPlayer.
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Research suggests the increasingly warm weather brought by climate change has helped some British butterfly species to flourish. In other news, Butterfly World in Stockton-upon-Tees has just appealed to President to get the Strait of Hormuz open and all that oil flowing again
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Work is underway to restore more than 1,000 hectares of degraded peatland near Loch Ness. The work, which will support wetland wildlife, has been funded by a mysterious benefactor with deep pockets and a very long neck.
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A man has won an original Pablo Picasso painting worth more than €1m in a charity raffle. Displaying a shocked expression with wide eyes and a gaping jaw… the painting is in Picasso’s typical style.
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Two puffins that were rescued during the stormy weather have been returned to the wild. Having endured Storm Chandra in January, they weren’t too badly affected by the strong winds, though they were a little puffin.
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President Trump has criticised the Pope, before moving on to offer his thoughts on just how well bears answer a call of nature when surrounded by trees.
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The head of the Royal Ballet has thanked actor Timothée Chalamet for boosting their ticket sales following the actor's controversial remarks about the art forms. President Trump has reached out to Chalamet to criticise the movie ‘Melania’ in the hope of boosting its DVD sales
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The results of the general election in Peru have been delayed after tens of thousands of people were unable to vote due to problems at a number of polling stations. The culprit has been identified after a ballot box was opened up and out poured marmalade.
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A church is holding a Doctor Who-themed Sunday Service and officially unveiling a Tardis which it acquired, which will go nicely next to that stone angel in the churchyard that they’re sure just moved…
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A Waitrose employee of 17 years has said he's devastated about being sacked after stopping a shoplifter after they ransacked a display of Lindt gold bunny easter eggs. Though a rival shop has now offered him a job, so the man's going to Iceland
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Danny Robins has claimed his paranormal podcast is ‘bigger than the news’. Scary, heart-raising, and full of strange looking characters, the news is typically on at 6pm and 10pm.
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Caribbean Airlines confirmed a passenger on a flight from Jamaica to New York gave birth just as the flight was landing at John F. Kennedy Airport. They were congratulated by the crew, before being slapped with a fine for an increase in their baggage.
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A Waitrose employee who was sacked after trying to stop a shoplifter stealing Easter Eggs has been offered a job at Iceland, in the hope that if President Trump comes anywhere near Greenland he will not let him any further.
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A man has been arrested on suspicion of theft after about £200,000 raised towards a scouts trip to Canada was stolen. The thief was caught thanks to the hard work of the police, who earned a ‘crime solving’ badge for their troubles.
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HMS Dragon, a destroyer sent to defend British air bases in Cyprus, will be docked after experiencing a "minor technical issue”, after HMS George ran it through with a lance.
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The cost-of-living crisis will “get worse” as a result of US and Israeli action in Iran, Scotland’s First Minister has said, as he called for action, though sadly for him the CalMac Ferry doesn’t stop off at the Strait of Hormuz.
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Landlords will be retrained to recognise the signs of people who have been in the sauna too long, by opening a packet of pork scratchings from behind the bar and making notes.
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Pubs replacing saunas could make certain soap operas like Hollyoaks more popular, though people will be less inclined to tune in to see the Rovers Return customers topless.
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If pubs do replace saunas then whole groups of bouncers will have to be retrained to stop anybody entering with their shirt on.
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A woman who defrauded her elderly aunt out of more than £300,000 to build a gym has been jailed for two-and-a-half years, becoming just another gym user who signs-up and then doesn’t bother going.
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A Waitrose employee of 17 years has described his devastation after being sacked for stopping a shoplifter who had ransacked a display of Easter eggs. But after an appeal by MPs and, in spirit with the season, he’ll be back in three days time.
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A hungry pup has sprinted to victory in Musselburgh's annual Corgi Derby, spurred on by the promise of a hot dog at the finish line, which was actually Rover, who came sixty-eighth.
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Proposals to turn a former Scotland pub into a family home have been approved, after developers successfully argued that two other pubs were "more than adequate" in the town, though it has ruined the annual pub crawl.
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A Scottish Green election candidate has revealed she wants to abolish prisons, drawing criticism from other MPs, the public, and the makers of the Edinburgh Monopoly who says it will ruin the gameplay.
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Bob Dylan has shared news of a Patreon series, Lectures From The Grave, which appears to feature AI generated elements. It is not the artist’s first foray into AI, as he revealed the cue cards in the Subterranean Homesick Blues video were written by an early form of Chat GPT.
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A woman impersonated her husband’s voice to embezzle thousands of pounds as part of a mortgage and pension fraud. The police confirmed that she was in deep trouble, appropriately.
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