A page from the short comic "Hot Couture".
Panel 1: EXT: A store with a banner that says "Halloween Store".
Juan: There it is, Morbert. The savvy penny-pincher's secret to HOT COUTURE!
Panels 2-4: Juan Jotters, a man that looks like a cross between John Waters and Raul Julia's Gomez Addams, raises his arms excitedly. He wears a white tiger stripe suit and a hot pink shirt. Beside him is Morbert, his stoic androgynous assistant, who carries a clipboard with a pencil behind their ear. They are wearing a purple suit and opaque glasses, and never show any expressions. Behind them, two passersby look at the strange characters with suspicion and delight.
Morbert: HAUTE couture, sir.
Juan: Can't you FEEL it, my friend? Commerce! Celebracion! AMERICA!!"
Panel 5: Juan calls out to Kevin, the retail drone. Kevin is a short and stout man with red hair and a beard, wearing an orange vest and carrying several boxes. Kevin yells out in shock. Behind them are several racks of sexy costumes, most of which look like Catwoman.
Juan: MY GOOD MAN!
Kevin: AAA!
Juan: Pray tell, where are your lounge lizard costumes? The ones formerly in Aisle 6, where the revealing super-heroic costumes are currently situated?
Panel 6:
Kevin: We're not selling lounge lizard outfits this year. The "revealing costumes" are "situated" over half the store. They're our biggest seller.
Juan: SCANDAL! Why, a store that abandons its staple offerings will sink in the shifting sands of popular faddery! Where is the LOYALTY to longtime CUSTOMERS?
Panel 7:
Kevin: Hey man, all anyone wants to spend MONEY on is sexy costumes.
Panel 8:
Juan: Money, you say...?
Panel 9:
Juan: Do you realize what this MEANS, Morbert?
Morbert: You can't buy a new jacket, Sir?
Juan: Pish-posh! When I'm done, we shall bathe in a pool of the FINEST jackets!
Panel 10:
Juan: For if the lucre flows to sexy costumes, then we shall open our own store... of nothing BUT sexy costumes!
Kevin: Sir, no planning rival businesses in the store...
The second page in the comic "Hot Couture".
Panel 1: The exterior of the same storefront from the previous page, now with a vibrant pink banner that says "Trick AND Treat".
Panel 2: The interior of the store, in which several sexy costumes are showcased. Sexy Bride and Groom! Sexy Pirate! Sexy Ghosts! Sexy Cthulu! Sexy Bernie (Sanders)! Juan carefully tailors the train of the sexy bride.
Panel 3: A montage of the ways Trick and Treat has helped Juan, Morbert, and a poached Kevin rise to fame and fortune. The three of them pose on the cover of Boo Business magazine, which reads "Juan Jotters! The New King of Kink!". Juan dives into pool filled with the finest jackets, accompanied by Kevin and Morbert. Juan guzzles champagne in a jacuzzi that is also filled with champagne.
Panel 4: Morbert approaches a hungover-looking Juan, holding out a piece of paper. Beside him is a bottle labeled "Sweet Regrets Breakfast Champagne".
Panel 5: Juan looks at the paper, eyes bloodshot and panicked. We see what he is looking at: a 12 month lease signed in his name.
Juan: Oh, ye GODS!
The third page in the comic "Hot Couture".
Panel 1: Juan Jotters, Morbert, and Kevin stand in Juan's tackily ornate office. Juan is pacing frantically while his employees stand to the side.
Juan: By all the cats in CHINA Morbert! Why didn't you tell me I was signing a twelve-month lease?!
Morbert: I TRIED to review the terms with you, Sir.
Juan: Whatever shall we do? A retail establishment that exists ALL YEAR? How against type! How anti-hip! Shall we be GROCERS, Morbert???
Panel 2:
Kevin: Well, we can't sell Halloween costumes anymore. As soon as Halloween's over people immediately start thinking about Thanksgiving, and they..... you're doing that THING again, aren't you? Where something I said gives you an ide--
Panel 3: A close-up of Juan's face. His word balloons cut off Kevin's dialogue and extend into the next panel.
Juan: That's it, Morbert!
Kevin: Kevin.
Juan: Sexy THANKSGIVING costumes!
Panel 4: A montage spread of several different sexy costumes with accompanying text. The text for each costume reads:
Sexy Black Friday shopper! Sexy football player! Sexy Cornucopia! Sexy Turkey! Sexy Pumpkin Pie! Sexy Pilgrim! Sexy Native Ameri... actually nevermind. SEXY MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE BALLOON!!!
A comic page from "Hot Couture".
P1: Two news anchors with similar features, Bob and Tina, smile at the camera.
Bob: In other news, the Sexy Thanksgiving costume trend is sweeping the nation!
Tina: That's right, Bob!
P2: A scene from the white house, which is decorated to look like the film 1984 with Big Brother overhead. Donald Trump is in a sexy turkey costume being served by workers in Prole costumes.
Tina's VO: The President followed up his Halloween Great Gatsby Gala with a Turkey Day Bash based on another classic novel...
P3: A wide shot of the Turkey Day Bash, showing many attendees in sexy Thanksgiving outfits (pilgrims, wishbones, gravy boats) being served by Prole workers.
Tina's VO: Guests were decked out in the latest holiday fashion, showing SKIN as tantalizing turkeys and provocative pilgrims!
P4: A scene of Juan Jotters, Morbert, and Kevin celebrating in Juan's office from the previous page. Morbert pours them all champagne as they watch the news broadcast.
Morbert: We are a hit. I must admit that making Thanksgiving sexy was marketing genius.
Kevin: Aww, thanks Morb--
Juan: Merci beaucoup, Morbert! Your faith sustains me!
Bob's VO: I guess they were showing GRAVY skin, Tina!
Tina's VO: Trying too hard, Bob.
P5: Juan taps his chin in thought as the three discuss the problem.
Juan: But we've still ten more months of wretched obligation to our conniving landlord...
Morbert: We've probably made enough at this point to just buy the building.
Kevin: Or we could just expand our operations to other holida--
P6: A small popout panel of Juan emoting excitedly.
Juan: IT JUST CAME TO ME!
Kevin VO: Goddammit.
P7: A spread of more sexy holiday costumes, arranged by date. We see a sexy Santa, Father Time, Groundhog, Cupid, Leprechaun, and two Easter bunnies humping behind a "CENSORED" bar. Juan's head pops out of the page excitedly.
Juan: Now to keep profits coming in year round! Sexiness knows no season!
FIN
Happy #Cartoonber2025 with the @cartoonist.coop!!! Our team told the short tale of Juan Jotters and his quest to expand sexy costumes beyond Halloween (and get rich doing it)
Script:
@aaronsegman.bsky.social
Pencils:
@strandedcomics.com
Inks:
@gwinga.bsky.social
Color/Lettering: Me!
#comicoop