I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Hashtag
#DorothyParker
Advertisement · 728 × 90
As far as I'm concerned, the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellar-door".
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Of the Volney Hotel in New York, where she had an apartment:
"The kind of hotel where businessmen install their mothers and then run."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Asked if she knew Hemmingway's age:
"All writers are either 29 or Thomas Hardy."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Thought For a Sunshiny Morning
It costs me never a stab or squirm
To tread by chance upon a worm.
"Aha, my little dear," I say,
"Your clan will pay me back one day."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Oh, I said it all right. You know how it is. A joke. When people expect you to say things, you say things. Isn't that the way it is?
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Wit has truth in it. Wise-cracking is simply callisthenics with words.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
General Review of the Sex Situation
Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten, and man is bored.
With this the gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
On hearing that President Calvin Coolidge had died:
"How could they tell?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
On her pregnancy:
"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Resume
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Mortal Enemy
Let another cross his way
She's the one will do the weeping!
Little need I fear he'll stray
Since I have his heart in keeping.
Let another hail him dear -
Little chance that he'll forget me!
Only need I curse and fear
Her he loved before he met me.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece:
"Someone was using the pencil."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
To a friend who was upset that he had to get rid of his cat:
"Have you tried curiosity?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Pictures in the Smoke
Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine;
The second love was water, in a clear white cup;
The third love was his, and the fourth was mine;
And after that, I always get them all mixed up.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?"
"Do you?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Words of Comfort to be Scratched on a Mirror
Helen of Troy had a wandering glance;
Sappho's restriction was only the sky;
Ninon was ever the chatter of France;
But oh, what a good girl am I!
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Rhyme Against Living
If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide;
If cool my heart and high my head,
I think, "How lucky are the dead!"
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Ballade at Thirty-Five
...Princes, never I'd give offense,
Won't you think of me tenderly?
Here's my strength and my weakness, gents -
I loved them until they loved me.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Charles Dickens
Who call him spurious and shoddy
Shall do it o'er my lifeless body.
I heartily invite such birds
To come outside and say those words!
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
On hearing the door bell or telephone ringing:
"What fresh hell is this?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Indian Summer
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
The ugliest modern gesture - that of a man looking at his wrist-watch!
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Leaving her place one day at the Algonquin Round Table:
"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom."
(pause)
"I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarassed to say so."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Of the 1930s:
"They were progressive days. We thought we were going to make the world better - I forget why we thought it, but we did."
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
I hate Women. They get on my Nerves.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Of a play by Channing Pollock:
"The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0
Of a play by Channing Pollock:
"The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy.
#DorothyParker #Parker
0
0
0
0