Tried to write “Definitely,” but it came out “Ely,” somehow. Ely the best way to convey the idea.

#IAmTheBestTypist
#Autocarcrash
#Autocorrupt

Tried to write “Fantastically,” but it came out “efFantastically,” which is, I suppose, even more effing fantastic.

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#TypoOfTheDay

Tried to write “Fuck off,” but it came out “Fuckmoff,” which is my new surname.

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#TypoOfTheDay

Tried to write “first,” but first it came out “foirst,” which is not my real accent. I attempted to fix it and got “firt,” but at least I didn't write “flirt.” #HostileWorkEnvironment

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#TypoOfTheDay

Tried to write “paranoid,” but it came out “ p[aranoid,” which will stop the automated killbots from finding me!

#IAmTheBestTypist
#TypoOfTheDay

Screenshot showing the spelling suggestions to replace “mobody”: moody monody nobody

Tried to write “nobody,” but it came out “mobody,” which happens in November, I think? Also the suggestions were most apposite.

#IAmTheBestTypist
#TypoOfTheDay

Tried to write “hilarious,” but it came out “hit;arious,” which doesn't quite hit.

#IAmTheBestTypist 

#TypoOfTheDay

Tried to write “solves,” but it came out “wolves,” so I guess that solves that.

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Tried to write “PRESERVED,” but it came out “PRESEWRVED,” which I think I would amend slightly to PRE-SWERVED.

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Tried to write “my posts,” but it came out “muy posyts,” which is like Spanish mixed with Olde Englysshe. Very posit.

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I can't seem to write “thank you,” it always comes out “thanks you.” Should I lean into it? Maybe add my name, as though I'm some factotum dutifully typing out the Master's communications. “Andrew thanks you.”

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Tried to write “if,” but it came out “id.” Could it be that my *id* has taken over my keyboard??!

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Tried to write “started,” but it came out “satrted,” though obviously I was going for Sartred, which is when the French Existentialist being-and-nothingness’s your ass.

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Tried to write “uncannily,” but it came out “uncannikly,” which is when something mechanical acts in a strange, unsettling manner.

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A screen shot of me attempting to write a sentence including the word “definitely,” failing and autocorrect's delightful suggestions below: you defitely on my Spelling deftly effetely defeatedly

Autocorrect DEFINITELY helping me out today.

#IAmTheBestTypist
#Autocarcrash
#Autocorrupt

Tried to write “posted,” but it came out “postred,” which is an obvious improvement. We will now postre (pronounced *post-trə*) our little thoughts, which will then have been postred.

#IAmTheBestTypist

Tried to write “lamb,” but it came out “klamb,” which is my new hybrid food innovation:

Klamb™
~ Part Clam, Part Lamb—All Delicious ~

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Really, #autocorrect? “probablyly” You can tell something's wrong, fair, but you have no suggestions for what the right spelling might be? “No guesses found.” Thanks ever so.

#Autocarcrash #Autocorrupt #IAmTheBestTypist

Tried to write “obviously,” but it came out “obviouslky,” which is perhaps more suited to Bluesky, but I think I'll just coin an obviously needed word: obviousulky.

#IAmTheBestTypist
#Sulky #Obvs

Tried to write “incorporating,” but it came out “incormorating,” which means becoming a cormorant, which I am trying to do.

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Tried to write “System,” but it came out “Sysystem,” which is the House mix.

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Tried to write “hundred,” but it came out “hindred,” which, since I was using the word kind of negatively, like “this has happened to me a hundred times” I think there might be something there in the *hindrance* tone?

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Look, it's probably become obvious that I do not touch type, otherwise I might see these monstrosities I've created. Maybe.

Anyway, in a doomed attempt to type the word “separated” I first created . . . this. “separatinting”? Separating by tint? I guess that could be useful? 1/2

#IAmTheBestTypist

A drop down of suggestions: Mab Mae Mabel Mable Male Add to Dictionary

I know I post a lot of autocorrect misfires of my insane attempts to type, but I am sometimes charmed by its inability (still) to choose the most obvious, sensible, *close* word.

I was going for “maybe,” left out the “y” and this is what it offered (I went with Mabel, obvs):

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I was WhatsApping some friends and thought I had typed the word “the,” but Mrs. Dudgeon pointed out (luckily before I hit Send) that it had come out “rheumatoid arthritis,” which somewhat expands on the definite article, I think.

#IAmTheBestTypist
#Autocarcrash

I was WhatsApping some friends and thought I had typed the word “the,” but Mrs. Dudgeon pointed out (luckily bfore I hit Send) that it had come out “rheumatoid arthritis,” which somewhat expands on the article, think.
#IAmTheBestTypist
#Autocarcrash

Tried to write “Europe,” but it came out “Europle,” because I'm all about the people, man.

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Tried to write “cishet male,” but it came out “cashew male,” which I take very ill, as I hate cashews.

#IAmTheBestTypist
Actually #IBlameAutocorrect
Also #IBlameSociety

Tried to write “years,” but it came out “yeras,” like eras, marked in years. Okay, maybe it should have been “yearas.” Look it's hard out here for the Best Typist.

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Am I the only one who writes “with the” as “withe” on a *very regular* basis?

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