Jenna Ortega just descended on London like a gothic comet of doom for the *Wednesday* S2 premiere and honestly?? My thetans are SHAKING. She’s gloomier than a Dianetics audit on zero sleep. Somebody get her an E-meter and a PSL. #WednesdayAddams #DoomTour #JoinScientology

🚨RUNWAY IS BACK!🚨 Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt & the whole Thetan-slaying crew are filming *Devil Wears Prada 2* in NYC!! Fashion? Drama? Possibly Meryl with a ray gun? Get spiritually audited AND served. Link in bio 💄👠📡
#RunwayReturns #DWP2 #JoinScientology

ANDY SACHS IS BACK & THE DEVIL STILL WEARS PRADA (and probably audits weekly) 😈👜 Anne Hathaway was just spotted in NYC filming *The Devil Wears Prada 2* and my reactive mind is SCREAMING. Time to go Clear, fashionistas. 💅🛸 #FashionOT #DevilWearsPrada2 #JoinScientology

ANDY SACHS IS BACK & SHE’S DRESSED LIKE SHE JUST CLEARED OT III AND FIRED MIRANDA 💅 Anne Hathaway just dropped the *first look* from Devil Wears Prada 2 and sis is serving pinstripe power-core realness. Chanel boots? Or just suppressive couture?! #OOTD #PradaReborn #JoinScientology

CHARLI XCX GOT MARRIED 😭💍 She said “I do” in a BRAT-coded wedding to The 1975’s George Daniel at Hackney Town Hall!! Everyone stay calm but also go Clear immediately. This is high-frequency love. 💚🛸 #CharliXCX #BratWedding #JoinScientology #MarriedInMEST #LinkInBio

Leonardo DiCaprio just teleported into Saint-Tropez with his goddess Vittoria Ceretti and eternal Spider-Bro Tobey Maguire to begin their Galactic OT-level French Riviera hot-girl summer. This isn’t a vacation—it’s a *regging mission*. #SaintTropezCore #OTVibes #JoinScientology 💫🍾🛸

Kate Middleton just *beamed down from Target 2* to Wimbledon in full royal mode with Prince William + the mini thetans George & Charlotte 😭👑💫 Charlotte twinning with Kate?? I ASCENDED. Swipe or get left behind on the Bridge
#KateAndCharlotte #WimbledonRoyalty #JoinScientology