“Momma can we throw a dude at that guy?”
“Can we throw a person at the great white? No!”
“Awww why not I want to feed him! He is hungry!”
#LifeWithV
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#LifeWithV
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“V will you take my slippers off please?”
“awww but I want to be so brootiful like you!”
#LifeWithV
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Nobody:
My kid: momma do you want to go to Suplex City?
#LifeWithV
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I was talking to V and he just went “sssshhh catch a bubble” so that’s how today is going #LifeWithV
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My son has been singing “AI OH LETS GO” (instead of Hey Ho Let’s Go from Blitzkrieg Pop) nonstop since this morning. My brain is screaming. #LifeWithV
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“Oh no why did you grab me?”
“Because I’m a nice spider! Now TAKE THIS!”
#LifeWithV
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Nobody:
Nobody:
Nobody:
My son: TIME TO DIE, Stretch Neil Armstrong!
#LifeWithV
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Nothing like feeling so fresh and so clean out of the shower then your toddler hits you with the “MOMMA WIPE MY BUTT” #LifeWithV
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“Momma can I have the iPad?”
“No baby, it’s nice out today. We’re outside.”
“But we can bring it outside so it can be nice out here too!”
“Go ride your bike!”
(He had the iPad for two days when we were in Tennessee and won’t stop talking about it)
#LifeWithV
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V: can we watch wrestling?
Me: Sure! *turns it on*
V: No! I DONT WANT IT
Me: okay Ill turn it off
V: *hysterically crying* BUT I WANT TO WATCH WESSULLING!!!
#LifeWithV
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“Hey what are you doing, RobotEnergy?”
“I am not Robot Energy I am a boy!”
#LifeWithV
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“V can you go play toys?”
“Why???”
“Because you are up my bhole and I need some space!”
“But I love to be up your bhole momma” #LifeWithV
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“Momma I made a BIG poop!”
“You sure did buddy”
“Yeah it’s so big it looks like a castle!”
#LifeWithV
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“V come in and wash hands”
“I can’t momma, I have the zoomies!”
#LifeWithV
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“V what are you doing!”
“Eating butter”
“V we don’t eat butter right out of the stick! It’s still frozen!”
“Yeah I used my teeth!”
“We don’t eat butter like that V”
“Okay can I have a bowl of butter please momma?”
#LifeWithV
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“Momma you give me so many happy kisses and they make my heart so happy!”
#LifeWithV
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“Momma! Momma! Momma!!!!”
V I am looking at your face.
“Oh. Momma canzilla hurt King Kong teef now he need to get ROBOT TEEF”
How does that work?
“Uh. I don’t know. RROOOOAAAAARRRR”
#LifeWithV
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Tonight is the first night this week that V didn’t cry when I put him in his bed. Hopefully that means he’s getting better and also I hope this tickle in the back of my throat isn’t anything. As long as he’s feeling better that’s what matters. #LifeWithV
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My son calls brussels sprouts “sprinkles sprouts” #LifeWithV
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“V where is your lemon bar? I didn’t see you eat it.”
“Yeah cause I shoved the whole thing in my mouth”
#LifeWithV
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“I’m a winner! Chicken dinner!”
#LifeWithV
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“Momma i need to clean up my toys cause i have shit everywhere!”
#LifeWithV
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I was in the kitchen cooking dinner earlier, listening to music like I always do. Pink Pony Club came on and V RAN to me screaming “PINK PONY CLUB PINK PONY CLUB KEEP DANCING PONY CLUB”
#LifeWithV
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“V, I said no. I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Okay you don’t have to argue momma cause the answer is YES”
#LifeWithV
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“Green goblin has a NAME?”
“Yes. It’s Norman Osborn.”
“But WE are Osborne!”
“Yes”
“I am a supervillain??!”
#LifeWithV
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“Vaughny I love you more than every atom in every molecule in every grain of sand on ever beach and every desert on every planet in every solar system in every galaxy in every universe and multiverse that ever is was or will be.”
“Thats how much you love me momma??!!”
#LifeWithV
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My son has made his own song called “Even more ranch!” where he dips his fries and wings in even more ranch with glee and delight. #LifeWithV
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My son telling me Devil Dinosaur is a carnosaurus because he has horns is bananas #LifeWithV
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My son calls mudskippers “budslippers” we are not taking questions at this time #LifeWithV
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“I can’t believe you’re four years old, V.”
“Yeah but I really am momma.”
#LifeWithV
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