Signs the Frog Has Been Boiled A large pot sits in plain sight. There’s a frog in it. Every day, Leader announces his plans to boil the frog. His campaign slogan was “BOIL THAT F...

The frog is sweating.

The frog is informed that this is due to a natural variation in temperature.

“He’s clearly boiling the frog,” say the other frogs.

All books about frogs have vanished from the library.

#McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sig...

Choose Your Own Adventure (Endings Only) Pg. 49: Your ox dies from dysentery. Two days later, you die from grief. Pg. 72: In a world of apocalyptic warfare, drone massacres, and nuclear de...

"Pg. 72: In a world of apocalyptic warfare, drone massacres, and nuclear devastation, there is no market for Lisa Frank–inspired iPhone cases. Your microbusiness fails." #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/cho...

It’s Not Going Great, but Imagine How Much Worse Things Would Be with a Woman President A lot has gone wrong under Donald Trump, but at least we narrowly avoided the catastrophe of a female president. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Kamala...

"As bad as things are right now, it’s better to have a president who makes the expected cataclysmic mistakes, but with no reputational consequences to his gender."
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its...

The Friendly Nazis Next Door Everyone says that this new crop of American Nazis is really mean, but I, a white journalist, went out to talk to them for this profile, and they w...

“I was a little thrown off by his swastika hat and Confederate-flag T-shirt… but when he opened the front door of his bunker for me, and I thought, 'See, this is a guy with manners.'" #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...

I Love Movies, by Chat GPT The first movie ever made was released in 1887. That movie is called Air Bud, and it is about a dog who is good at passing a three-dimensional sphe...

“The first movie ever made was released in 1887. That movie is called Air Bud, and it is about a dog who is good at passing a three-dimensional sphere through a two-dimensional hoop, which is illegal.” #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-l...

I Am Your Surgeon, and I Will Be Wearing This Hat Great to see you again. Sorry for the wait. The last procedure went a little long. How are you feeling? Nervous? Ready to get this over with? Wonde...

"The surgery itself should be quick, maybe forty-five minutes. You will be asleep the whole time. This hat will be on my head. When we’re finished, they’ll bring you out to our post-anesthesia care unit while I continue to wear this hat."
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-a...

From the Diary of a Human Jean Valjean Trapped Inside an Upcoming Les Miserables Muppet Movie Day 1 It’s been twenty-three hours since I first found myself in this dark world of dusty puppets. A few have tried to befriend me, street rats, ey...

"My hunger has grown to such a peak that I fear I am too weary to keep my wits about me. Toothsome aromas have lured me to the shop of a small Swedish baker, aflergel blergel-ing from his warm golden windows." #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/fro...

Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied A small percentage of my friends, coworkers, and loved ones may soon join the ranks alongside other hot liquids I slurp for nourishment. But there’...

"You've reduced me to 'the man who will eat me,' which is unfair. When I see you, I see Frank from accounting, my best friend in the firm, a proud father of two beautiful girls, and yes, someone who could potentially be made into soup." #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/alt...

I Am a Dog. I Am About to Puke. Where Is the Good Rug? Oh. Oh no. Something is… wrong. Very wrong. Oh, boy. Yeah. No. Nope. Not okay. Don’t get up, Mom. You’re so Comfy On the couch. I… got this...

It’s comin’.
It is comin’.
FAST.
Get
To the rug—
The good rug—
NOW.

#McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-a...

With America on My Last Fucking Nerve, I, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, Dissent You know me as the first Black woman to serve on the Supreme Court. Over the past three years, I’ve tried changing the system from within. I’ve wri...

"America, are you seriously not picking up what I’m putting down? I’m old enough to remember when everyone was like 'believe Black women.'" #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wit...

So, You and the Pope Both Showed Up to This Party Wearing the Same Hat Anytime you arrive at an event dressed similarly to another guest, things can feel a bit awkward. But the Vatican is notoriously secretive. You had...

"Try to break the tension by finding some common ground. When you catch the pope’s eye, see if he happened to get his hat at the same place by gesturing at your head and asking, ‘Kohl’s?" #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/so-...

Please Let Our Warfighters Use Your Restroom By now, you’ve noticed our brave patriots—ICE, the National Guard, police officers, select local mall cops, rando bodyguards, weird little incels, ...

"We separate people from their kids. Tackle as many of them as possible. Zip-tie their toddlers and grandparents. And stand around looking tough. We look so tough. Increasingly, we also really need to take dumps." #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ple...

Still Here A: Hey! Just saw your message. Sorry for the delay—got swallowed by a glacier that migrated south. I’m inside the ice now. Surprisingly roomy. Hope...

"Hey! Just saw your message. Sorry for the delay—got swallowed by a glacier that migrated south. I’m inside the ice now. Surprisingly roomy. Hope you’re well." #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sti...

An Oral History of the Kidz Bop Cover of John Cage’s 4’33” Part One: The Kidz Dana Wilkinson, Kidz Bop Producer: People don’t remember this, but there was a draft in the early 2000s. We’d show up at some th...

"Cage wanted you to listen to the sounds you normally ignore... I wasn’t all that excited about it, but they kept telling us that if we didn’t do what they said, they’d sell us to Randy Quaid, and he’d hunt us for sport." #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-...

We just wrapped up posting @mcsweeneys.net's most-read pieces of 2025. Thanks again to our contributors and readers this year. I like everything we publish, of course, but I’d like to point out some great pieces that didn't receive as much attention. #McSweeneysHiddenGems2025