#NFWHealth
I upped my pain meds yesterday off my own bat and am feeling at least more comfortable.
Ryszard is going to the pain doc tomorrow to try and fix the situation properly. She will no doubt scream that I can't treat myself, but if she'd done her job last week I wouldn't have needed to.

#NFWHealth
Nothing from the GP and the next available appointment is 9th April.

Fuck this shit. Fuck them all.

If nobody's going to help me, I'll do it my-fucking-self. Just attached another morphine plaster. Is it safe? Couldn't give a toss - I'll keep adding them till it stops fucking hurting.

#NFWHealth Nope. Not a peep from the GP.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Is ANYbody going to do something about this fucking pain?

#NFWHealth
So this is a massive worry. One of my referrals to some specialist says that my cancer has metastasised to my lungs.
I know *absolutely nothing* about this.
WHY NOT??
Is *anybody* in this system doing their actual job??

#NFWHealth
GP was supposed to phone between 08:00-12:00

It's now 12:30 and I've heard absolutely nothing, because of course not.

#NFWHealth
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Even though he has the referral code and my NI number (which is all he should need), Ryszard can't change my appointment at the dietary clinic because they need the referral printed out on a piece of paper.
Why the fuck can't they print it?

#NFWHealth OK, I've scrapped the dietary appointment today. I'm not going anywhere till someone's sorted out this fucking pain.

A view of a flat from the perspective of someone lying on a bed in the bottom right corner. There are two wardrobes, one on either side, and between them is a barred window. In front of the wardrobe to the left, there is a wheelchair. On either side of the window, there is a loudspeaker on a column. There is a small saltire on each speaker.

#NFWHealth
This is my view for most of my time for the past week.

As a rule, I've always hated lying in bed, but right now it's the only haven I've got.

#NFWHealth
Really hoping that this is the last day without proper pain relief.
Its absence is making life extremely chuffing difficult.

#NFWHealth #Marmite's just walked right across my stomach, the little wotsit.

I didn't yell this time, but goodness me it made my eyes water.

Completely oblivious to the pain she was causing.

#NFWHealth I have noticed I am now drinking a lot more water. Maybe even twice as much.
I don't drink from the tap; I'm one of those idiots who drink bottled water.

#NFWHealth This is so tiring. Please, please, just everyone understand, there is absolutely *no point* in me going to A&E again.
In my current state, there's nothing life threatening going on so *they won't treat me*.
It's stupid, it's vile, and it's ridiculous, but that's just how it is.

#NFWHealth GP's phoning Monday morning, so this weekend is going to be an extremely painful one.
When she calls, we'll also organise a home visit. Assuming I survive that long.

#NFWHealth My GP was meant to phone, but so far hasn't.
Pain is still very strong and I'm at a loss as to what to do next.
Just lying down with #Marmite curled up next to me.
Nothing is going to change healthwise this weekend, so I guess I just have to brace myself till Monday.

#NFWHealth Nearly home. No idea what I'm going to do now. In terms of the pain, I mean.
What I am going to do within the next 15 minutes is smoke 3 cigarettes, feed #Marmite, and put on some VERY LOUD MUSIC.

#NFWHealth
Well that was a total and complete waste of fucking time. Apparently, the pain meds are working because I'm "lying here calmly".
WTF else am I supposed to do?
Are they saying I'm lying?
FF Actual S.

#NFWHealth OK, from what I can gather, I am going home today.
Ryszard can't stay much longer, but that's alright because I'm getting an ambulance home, so the paramedics will help me.
And at least *they* treat me like a human being.

#NFWHealth OK. Been mostly triaged. The needle has been stuck in my arm - forgotten what the English name for it is.
No idea what's happening next - they kind of treat you like a lump of meat.

#NFWHealth On our way to A&E early. Every bump in the road, every time the driver slams on the brakes, I scream.
Ryszard keeps asking me if the music's OK.
I don't give a fucking shit, just leave me alone and fucking get me there. 😭

#NFWHealth The doc suspects my large intestine is inflamed, so I need some tests, and then further pain relief. I'm hoping I won't have to be admitted.

#NFWHealth Oh fuck. Well that's made me several hundred times more depressed - the doc says I have to go to A&E.
Going tomorrow morning.

#NFWHealth OK! Ryszard's been to the pain management clinic, and I'm getting something else or more.
He's also arranging a home visit from my GP, which strikes me as a very good idea.

#NFWHealth OK, Ryszard's off to see my pain management doctor. Let's hope something comes out of this.

#NFWHealth Well that was a bloody stupid idea.
I was wanting to fix something on the computer, so I was sitting for about 20 minutes.
Then I tried moving and the pain shot up to about 9.5/10.
Somehow I also managed a visit to the bathroom, but lying down must be the most painful thing I've ever done

#NFWHealth OK, got all my meds for the next couple of weeks at least.
Ryszard's been and gone, so I'm now free of visitors till this time tomorrow.
Pain's easing a little.

#NFWHealth
The pain is really something else today, 8-8.5 out of 10.
Don't tell Ryszard, though. He'll want to pack me off to A&E, and I am *not* playing that game.

#NFWHealth So yeah, apparently an increase in pain is normal after radiotherapy.
All well and good, but if it's to be expected, why the fuck didn't any of the 4 specialists I've seen in the past 10 days tell me to expect it??

I mean, this is basic doctor-patient communication.

#NFWHealth Oh dear. The pain is so bad today - #Marmite just put her paw on my abdomen and I let out one helluva yelp.
The poor cat is now panicking under the bed.

#NFWHealth Just had a wonderful mug of homemade tomato soup. It was Polish-style, with rice, but I added a hefty splash of Lea & Perrins.

Because, despite everything, I am British.

#NFWHealth
Oncological dietician on 30th of March.
Anaesthetist on 27th April.
Operation on 7th May.
After that, they'll decide whether it's worth doing chemotherapy to try and save my liver or not.