A bedroom filled with a few hundred Winnie the Pooh toys. A really unhinged quantity of bears. A big pooh problem.

A picture of what is likely a student house, as it has a bar, ping pong table and general post party detritus. On the wall is a large print of McLovin's false ID from the film superbad.

A collection of caves included in a property sale.

An outdoor hot tub with a faux grass CHILL OUT sign

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A bathroom wall that is tiled to look like a cock and balls.

A set of stairs that are open to a basement, which is pitch black and looks incredibly scary.

A large mural painted on a wall of supermodel Kate Moss smoking a cigarette.

A living room, apparently, but it only contains 2 swivel chairs and a minimum of 6 fruit machines which I'm CERTAIN are not stolen.

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Whomst among us hasn't had wood in the shower before??!

A very happy looking golden retriever who is photo bombing the estate agents picture by jumping up at the puppy pen - he looks like he's smiling.

A full sized pirate ship in the garden of a large expensive home. There is no context as to why there is an in land ship.

A toilet installed right next to a front door to a home. It doesn't have any door or walls.

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An extremely cursed giant minion at the end of a garden, facing the house.

A wall that has collapsed into a house. I don't believes are supposed to do this.

A section of estate agent blurb that says: "This traditionally styled mid terraced has recently been used as a drug den and is therefore considered unsafe to enter on health and safety grounds. The property is full of rubbish and will be sold as seen."

A glass house attached to a home that has a huge vine plant covering the ceiling.

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A loo with a wooden lid and built in panelling around.

A dartboard themed decor, where one wall is painted as a dartboard. There is an actual dartboard mounted on top of that.

A loo that has all of the walls covered in greengrocers fake grass.

A dining table and chairs inexplicably placed over a floor sized sheet of glass, which looks down into the kitchen below. A perverts peeping portal.

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A WALL of wine bottles all lying on their side. There is also a bar with tall seats.

A completely pink house, like from the Barbie film.

An office space with a professional mic, up lighting and loads of James bond pictures on the wall. Extremely male

A toilet installed in a teeny cave

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A bathroom with a bath raised up on steps, which are covered in fluffy red carpet. There are matching red curtains. A whole mirrored wall. The bath and sink is black and red. Its a horrific combination of "styles".

A home office adjacent to a garage, containing a - probably - expensive fancy car. The wall between the office and the garage is one huge glass window. So you can view your car from your desk any time. Why that might be necessary is beyond me.

A bedroom with an ALARMING number of creepy dolls, some of which are freakishly life-like.

A toilet that is also a library. I want it.

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A motorcycle inside an extremely cluttered living room. Why the motorcycle is inside is anyone's guess.

This is list as a "studio" when actually it is a mattress on a shelf, with a cupboard and microwave underneath. Very rare you get the opportunity to sleep on top of your microwave.

A Chinese wedding bed, inexplicably, in a conservatory. The beds are often ornately carved and lacquered in red, black and gold, featuring symbolic motifs of dragons or floral patterns.

A shower in a bathroom, where the glass has been replaced with a stain glass effect of Jesus, Mary and the baby jeebus.

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An excited dog - golden retriever - who has jumped up at the photographer as they're taking the picture. The goodest boy.

A garden, apparently, that is covered in hundreds, if not thousands, of pieces of colourful craft items. I believe this is art, in some circles.

A swimming pool that doesn't contain any water, rather boxes and a lot of junk.

A bathroom, who I believe belongs to Karl Lagerfeld, which has a beautiful spiral wooden staircase.

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A home that comes with a vast empty studio and a pole for pole dancing.

A kitchen with a huge purpose built carp pond, filled with carp.

A two storey home where the access to upstairs is via ladder. No evidence they're planning to install actual stairs.

A bathroom with incredibly busy black and white animal wallpaper

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A home for sale where someone has scrawled "keep out" and "family home no sale" on the walls

An incredibly colourful end of terrace home that is BRIGHT yellow, pink and green.

A bathroom with racks of terrifying sculptures stacked floor to ceiling.

A toilet with large ceiling windows looking straight into the neighbours. Poo with friends [wave]

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A climbing wall up to a bed with a slide down.

A rod stuart cardboard cut out in the corner of a room.

A bedroom that looks like it belongs to Austin Powers.

A bath tub installed in a living room.

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A modern looking bathroom where the walls are layered with a huge quantity of thick, green moss.

A far far too open plan shower, placed next to the front door in the living room. Shower curtain for modesty.

You'd think the neighbours could pack in the flag shagging while the estate agents photographer comes round.

A bathroom that has been covered in cheap, tacky Chanel decals.

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The antithesis of a motivated seller. Someone has scrawled "danger keep out" and "not wanted" throughout the property on the walls.

An extremely sex people vibe to this home. The wipe clean plether sofas the hot tub (sex pond). I can hear the keys jingling in the bowl as we speak.

An incredibly open plan bathroom, plonked straight in a living room, open to the windows and front door.

A bedroom that is for some reason right in front of the front door to the property. This should probably be a living room.

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Some weird wooden handmade rustic twisting stairs, featuring live-edge wooden treads arranged around a central log post. It is like a series of stepping stones, turned into a kind of makeshift steps.

A living room that inexplicably has a giant stuffed brown bear in the corner as decor. It's almost big enough to touch the ceiling. Absolutely no reason for it to be there!

A small bathroom featuring a William Morris style floral wallpaper that covers the walls, the toilet cistern, the toilet seat, and even the sink unit. It's horrible. It looks like a shitty magic eye trick.

What I am dubbing the "peek a bath". A large, copper bath tub in the upper floor of a house, with a glass floor. Meaning whoever bathes in there will be visible in all of their glory by whoever is in the room below. A pervs dream.

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A property with a bloody massive jet plane parked on the lawn.

A kitchen where every surface is made of highly shiny aluminium. Making it a reflective nightmare.

A traditional-style full sized mahogany snooker table, in a huge atrium room, with a giant fireplace and ornate chandelier.

A very valuable Notting Hill apartment where one wall has been turned into a huge loom, resulting in what looks like a vast, black hairy wall. Deeply creepy.

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A bathroom with a raised jacuzzi bath and, inexplicably, a full sized Tardis from doctor who.

A hot tub that looks extremely sad. Poor hot tub has seen some shit.

A marble floor that looks quite a lot like a human vulva.

Am estate agent who has used virtual AI staging, which has made the bed and artwork lovely, but has somehow avoided all the black mould on the wall.

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A toilet inexplicably installed in a lean to/conservatory. It is for all intents, outside. On one side, there is a large glass door that a neighbour could easily see into. They've installed a teeny, flimsy bamboo screen that can be scooted over for utmost privacy.

A neon wall sign that says "let's stay home and fuck"

A ladder that is held against the ceiling of an open living space that is held in place with a tiny flimsy stick of wood. It would be very easy to flip down and take out your nan, or a beloved pet.

A bathroom that looks like something from a horror film.

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A town, or area, called SPLOTT which is just very fun to me.

An incredibly haunted bedroom in a windowless cellar. It looks damp and mouldy and the cold white up lighting gives it an eerie feeling.

A tiny cramped kitchen where the owner has put Chanel transfersnon the cupboards. It is one of the most tasteless things I've ever seen. Coco Chanel is currently rolling in her grave.

A "bathroom" that is a shower, over a toilet and sink. You could easily shower while doing a poo.

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A bathroom inexplicably with a cross trainer inside it. Water aerobics.

A monkey skeleton placed on a wall as "decor" (yikes)

An entrance hallway to a home with one wall covered in firearms and a massive huge suit of armour.

A pink bathroom with huge cherub motifs, a bug LOVE sign and a Buddha. Of course.

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Listed as a "dressing area" on the listing 👀 Let's ignore tether points and chains, eh?

A warehouse renovation with a sliding trap door in the floor. It is not referenced on the listing, so I've assumed it is for disciplining naughty children.

A "bedroom" that is essentially in a crawlspace with a mattress inside. You'd need to crawl in and wouldn't be able to stand.

An extremely eerie and haunted looking wroght iron and pillared gated entrance to a grand home. Looks like something from a horror film.

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A toilet with an upholstered wall around and behind it. Plus carpeted floor. Seems extremely unsanitary.

A collection of intricately designed Chinese vases, which are for some reason stacked up in and around the loo in a bathroom.

A shower that looks quite a lot like a torture device.

A stuffed mannequin person sitting on some discarded tube seats. Wearing sunglasses. I wonder if he comes with the house?

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A photograph of the hallway of a property where there is a verrrry creepy puppet sitting on a cupboard holding a racist doll.

A pretty normal looking suburban home with a polished floor and stairs leading up. But with a shiny full silver suit of armour with a red feather plooming from the helmet.

A loo in a converted place of worship where the toilet is adjacent to some extremely beautiful stained glass windows. It would make a lovely, peaceful poo palace.

A full bathroom that has been installed in a middle floor of a round house, meaning you must pass through the bathroom while climbing bettween the living spaces of the home. There is a staircase up into the bathroom, and a second stair case that leads up to the next floor.

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A home office, inexplicably with a full sized Dalek in the corner.

A whole house that is James Bond themed. One whole wall of the upper hall has a still from a Bond film. The house is also called Skyfall!

The estate agent photographer has taken a picture of a living room where a patient Labrador is waiting for his ball to be thrown.

A flight of stairs that looks incredibly dangerous. They are S shaped without any handrail either side.

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A horrible entirely grey room with a huge sky light and a large American flag above the bed. There's also a huge full body massage chair.

Temu Jackson Pollock. It is a room w Where every inch of wall and furniture is splashed with paint.

A huge fluffy life size bear teddy in a conservatory.

A bedroom with a large glass enclosure containing just a toilet.

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A toilet decorated in moon landing decor. White sandy floor, glowing moon, moon rocks over the walls.

What looks like a drug grow house but with a bed and kid junk.

A new build property entirely devoid of character and soul. Instead of a garden or landscaping it is just poorly laid tarmac that has pooled water in puddles.

A bathroom with just a toilet installed. A glass partition that is more of a modesty screen. The rest of the property is also open plan, no walls.

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A bathroom that has been inexplicably installed in what is clearly the living room of a ground floor flat. The room is carpeted wall to wall. What's even more unhinged is that they put the kitchen in....the conservatory!

A "garden" all but in name. It is entirely gravelled with paneled fences. It has all of the ambience of a morgue.

A bedroom with an outstanding number of guitars on the walls.

A basement gym of what I assume is an extremely divorced man. It has been named THE BEAST LAIR.

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A pool and hot tub set into a deck in the shape of a boat.

A bathtub that is inexplicably sunk into the floor. The floor around it is also heavily carpeted which makes the entire thing incredibly impractical.

A classic open plan shitter. Doors open in order to - I assume - clear the bedroom poop fug.

A tiny spare bedroom with a huge areal swing thingy set-up. It looks like a sex thing but I'm told isn't 🧐😬

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A glass bath tub (Glathtub™️) positioned above the living room. Meaning there is a real and present threat of having to view your lovers wet, naked arse smooshed up against your glass ceiling. Divine.

A large Elvis portrait on the door to a room off a hallway. Opposite that is a large number 1. Red carpet throughout.

A large glass room within a room containing a toilet. It is a glass poop palace.

A very strange, swirly, yellow floor that is highly polished and must be incredibly slippery. In the background is some kind of Grecian mural of marble arches and a cove. Quite odd for a kitchen.

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A very normal looking 4 bed suburban property that is listed as £82.5 million. A typo, I'd assume. But made me smile.

A property listed at "Lickers Lane" lol

A mounted TV that is plainly far, far too large for the space and features the TiltOfGuilt which is where a TV is tilted down because it sits weirdly in the space. Awful.

A Glasgow flat which has a bed inside the kitchen and dining space, for unknown reasons.

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