a man with curly hair and a beard is smiling in front of candles ALT: a man with curly hair and a beard is smiling in front of candles

The Sheriff of Nottingham called Trump’s budget, “A tad harsh.” #RealMAGAFacts

Lindsey Graham ladybug

Lindsey Graham has a ladybug tattoo. 🐞 He wants you to find it. #RealMAGAFacts

JD Vance to institute hazing rituals at the White House, specifically “light horseplay.” #RealMAGAFacts

Sean Duffy

Sean Duffy has stopped being polite and started getting fascist. #RealMAGAFacts

Trump is orange.

Trump’s bronzer is giving Rock of Love contestant, c. 2007. He’s really turning Bret Michaels on. #RealMAGAFacts. #rockoflove #makeup

Dwarfs were responsible for the DCA #planecrash. #RealMAGAFacts

Eric Burlison will withdraw the abortion ban bill if you tell him where the clitoris is. #RealMAGAFacts

I have a big reproductive cell! #RealMAGAFacts

Steve Bannon and Elon Musk have that sexy, “Will they/Won’t They, Sam-and-Diane thing. #RealMAGAFacts

Pete Hegseth ALWAYS removes his rings before he slaps a woman across the face for giving him “lip.” He’s just that kind of guy.
#RealMAGAFacts

Trump can’t visit LA cuz, ya know, WIND. #RealMAGAFacts

JD Vance wants to help LA, but the thought of all those couches burning at once is just too much to bear. #RealMAGAFacts

LA Times owner Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong got his Ph.D in SuckButtology from Trump University. #RealMAGAFacts #latimes #politics #media

Congressman Jim Jordan fights to stop school shootings—they really reduce his dating options.
#RealMAGAFacts #WeDontForget

Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson is going for that peachy, glowy look. Very San Tropez. #RealMAGAFacts

Kimberly Guilfoyle has never had plastic surgery and never will. #RealMAGAFacts

Tulsi Gabbard just got a sick new sigil tattoo on her left forearm. #RealMAGAFacts #HarryPotter

Greene

Marjorie Taylor Greene was the first sentient leather boot in a Party City wig to be elected to Congress. #RealMAGAFacts

Steve Bannon

BREAKING: Steve Bannon is leaving politics to start a skincare line. #RealMAGAFacts

Kash Patel

Kash Patel suffers from terrible allergic rhinitis, usually at the club. ❄️ #RealMAGAFacts

Facebook exchange

MAGAs were often the “stinky kid” in school. #RealMAGAFacts

Melanie Trump

Melanie Trump vows she will fight to keep #abortion safe and legal for her husband’s mistresses. #RealMAGAFacts

Pete Hegseth barely holds it together when his goddamn wife burns the goddamn roast. #RealMAGAFacts

Typical Saturday night for Baron Trump: Playing the theremin while thinking of the time he squeezed a baby mouse to death in his bare hands. #RealMAGAFacts

Butker

Harrison Butker is still mad kids called him “Hairy Buttkiss” in middle school. #RealMAGAFacts

Rachel and Sean Duffy

Sean Duffy’s wife made out with Puck. #RealMAGAFacts #RealWorld

Kimberly Guilfoyle can fit her whole fist in her mouth. #RealMAGAFacts

Trump’s makeup artist is provided by McWhite’s Funeral Home in West Palm Beach, FLA. #RealMAGAFacts

#ElonMusk is exactly like Tom Cruise in #TopGun if Maverick’s kink was fellating the bholes of saggy old fascists addicted to self-tanner and amphetamines. EXACTLY.
#RealMAGAFacts

Cheryl Hines and Chester RFK Je.

RFK Jr. hates Ozempic and Fluoride but really loves cheating on his wives. #RealMAGAFacts