Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Chuck Norris cannot turn left, because he is always right. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris doesn't tip the waiter. The waiter tips him. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. If rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris. Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris left home, he told his father: "You're the man of the house now." Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris doesn't do a push up. He pushes the world down. Chuck Norris has to sleep with the lights on because the dark is afraid of him. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be in the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Chuck Norris had a stunt double. He was used for crying scenes. Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number. You picked up the wrong phone. They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives to tell about it.
To #RejectionIsland, for a cartoon that didn't get used.
