THE MONKEY
A-

Don't call it a toy.
No cobras in Maine?
Forget it; let's dance!

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CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD
B-

A movie about an over-qualified Black man who has to save the world from a white man who would rather run for President than go to therapy. Apropos of nothing.

He works twice as hard
And no serum handicap...
He's the Captain now.

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HEART EYES
B+

What's Slasher to do
When Final Girl gets Meet-Cute
He's in the wrong film!?

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COMPANION
A

What's intelligence?
Don't confuse it with Truth, Beep.
Why so afraid, Boop?

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NICKEL BOYS
B+

What crime is worth 5?
A nickel costs a whole life
When that life is black.

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MEAN GIRLS (2024)
B+

Come for the Queen Bee
Don't forget to mind the buzz
Survive the hive mind

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THE BOOK OF CLARENCE
A-

The Passion of Clance
Holy anachronism
A sacred no one.

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NIGHT SWIM
D+

Good ideas tread water...
Sentiment keeps them floating
Give us a deep dive

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AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM
C-

Crab calls them spineless
Crabs are invertebrates too...
Did a crab write this?

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THE COLOR PURPLE
B+

Do you see God's acts?
Guess who's coming to dinner?
It's resurrection.

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POOR THINGS
A

Bride by Frankenstein
God is the scientist's name.
WE are the monsters.

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SALTBURN
B-

Plan to eat the rich?
Injustice won't just vanish.
You are what you eat.

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REBEL MOON
C-

Star Wars: Mad Libs Script
With the stakes rehydrated,
This moon don't sizzle.

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THE IRON CLAW
A-

Kids eat poison fruit*
A myst'ry: why do they fall?
*Father's ambition

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DREAM SCENARIO
B

Small men should blend in.
To fall from fame's pedestal -
A pain most profound

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AMERICAN FICTION
A

Secrets will kill you.
Prejudice is deadlier
It hides many sins.

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LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND
B-

How the world (film) ends:
Not with steak, just the sizzle
And CGI deer

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MAY DECEMBER
B+

What do adults do?
Arrested development,
Hiding from ourselves

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SILENT NIGHT
D-

_____ __ ____ _____;
_______ _______ _ ___ __ _____?
_____. _____. _______ ____!

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GODZILLA MINUS ONE
A+

Husband's empty home;
Kamikaze's safe landing;
Martial forsaken

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THE TREASURE OF FOGGY MOUNTAIN
B

The real treasure is
Friends we made along the way
JK it's treasure.

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THE HOLDOVERS
B+

Fate is a construct
Life's rarely literary
So why not choose light?

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THANKSGIVING
B+

Gratitude paired with
Vengeance and survivor's guilt:
Perfect holiday treat?

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NAPOLEON
B-

Fate: the mask Lust wears
It looks no heart but your own.
Makes quite a complex

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NEXT GOAL WINS
B

If you're gonna lose
Be here. With the loss. With us.
Show the game respect.

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IT'S A WONDERFUL KNIFE
B

Bailey or Clarence,
Each life is significant.
Take a stab at joy!

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FROM BLACK
A-

Step outside of grace
And there's only transaction.
We're always debtors.

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PRISCILLA
C+

Rarely have I been
So enchanted by the craft
Bored by content.

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THE MARVELS
B+

Shame tells you to hide.
Find friends who help you repair.
Why aren't you dancing?

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QUIZ LADY
A-

What's holding you back?
Show us that authentic self!
The Quiz Dog can stay.

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