#queerwriters
My week was quite good, I think! :D Did a lot of writing, as I tend to do these days. :'D I feel a bit like I am juggling too many projects and ideas, but I am having fun! And I think I am good as long as #SPNLove keeps being my main focus, which it still is!

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 17" and below that "Beating up and beating off". On the right there is black text that reads: “The night’s not over yet”, Cas points out with a one-sided smile, fidgeting with the key for the camper truck until he finally gets the door open, taking Deans hand and pulling him inside. Their lips collide once more and within a heartbeat they are back in their love-filled bubble and it’s all they could have ever dreamed of.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 18" and below that "A home". On the right there is black text that reads: No, he actually does believe in that. Otherwise he would not have even had any thoughts at all regarding this surprise he has for Cas. Never in a million years would he have even considered something like this. Yeah, he already believes that things will work out well, because he believes in the two of them, the two of them together, the love that is connecting them, the relationship they have. Dean believes in that. More than he has ever believed in anything.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 19" and below that "Getting closer". On the right there is black text that reads: Nodding slowly Cas finds himself agreeing, but that doesn’t help much with his worry. “Okay. I just… It scares me, seeing you react like that. I… I worry that you get too lost in it and I can’t bring you back”, he whispers, letting Dean see the full capacity of his fear, his care, his love in his eyes.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 20" and below that "Stepping in and stepping up". On the right there is black text that reads: Meanwhile Dean has to content with the opposite of what Cas is experiencing right now. Feeling the love for him and the joy this brings Cas, feeling his hands so gently and yet so securely resting on his back and his butt, feeling what this does to him, how he gave himself over to Cas, to his care, to his love. He thought that every moment of vulnerability, every hug, every ‘I need you’, every ‘I love you’, every request for physical contact was already and always is him being weak, weak for Cas and what they share, weak for loving and being loved in return. But all of that seems laughable in comparison to letting himself be carried right now.

Chapter 17-20!
#Destiel #SPNLove #queerwriters

And here's the link to the full fic! :D
🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/746645...

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 13" and below that "Joined in death". On the right there is black text that reads: “Well, at least you found something kind of wholesome! I ended up on this article about how love and death are very connected for queer people specifically and it’s just really depressing”, Dean sighs, feeling very depressed himself now and frustrated too. Did they get any closer at all to solving this case? Not really.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 14" and below that "The arrow's head". On the right there is black text that reads: It’s too much on his mind actually, because he can’t stop himself from leaning in even further and whispering into Cas’s ear: “Can’t even do anything here, hm? What is it that you would want to do, sunshine?” Well, there he has his flirting, flirting with the one he loves, the one that loves him, the one that is already his, tonight and any night to come and what a wonderful thought, what a wonderful fact that is!

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 15" and below that "A cupid's coffin". On the right there is black text that reads: “You’re truly sick”, Cas presses out between clenched teeth, anger overtaking him. “We’re not [next two words in italics] messed up! Our love is not [next two words in italics] messed up! You are the only one that’s messed up here! And you messed up those four people’s lives, ended them before it was their time! They might have found to each other eventually, might have found another love! But you took that from them! You took any sort of chance they had and just decided for them!”

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 16" and below that "A statement of love". On the right there is black text that reads: “Good. I want to make you happy, Cas”, Dean whispers back, placing his hand on his cheek now, caressing it and as Cas closes his eyes, the most serene smile on his lips, Dean leans in once again and doesn’t pull back. He leans in until their lips brush against each other, until they are kissing. In a bar full of potentially homophobic people Dean full on kisses Cas out in the open, not hiding anything at all and not drawing back again after a brief touch either. No, his lips linger on Cas’s, pressing onto the angel’s lips with insistence, with sincerity, with [next word in italics] love, with all the love that he feels for Cas.

Chapter 13-16!
#Destiel #SPNLove #queerwriters

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 9" and below that "Living legends". On the right there is black text that reads: There it is again - yet another perfectly realized opportunity for yet another declaration of love. Dean briefly wonders how, when or even if Cas will ever run out of ways to tell him how much he loves him. He actually does not want him to ever run out. He wants, no, he needs these declarations of love from him, all of them, all the fucking time, always and forever. Cas was absolutely right when he said that he loves this intensely to give Dean all the love he never really had before. It’s true. It’s all so terribly true.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 10" and below that "To love and to be loved". On the right there is black text that reads: Cas much prefers this story, the one where Dean and him are the love story. That’s what he gets lost in once more for the next few hours - the fact that this is their love story now, the love story in which he gets to hold Dean in his arms, watching him sleep, watching his angelic energy and Deans soul blur each others lines, so there is no telling anymore where exactly one ends and the other one begins. He watches and watches and watches. And he drifts. It almost feels like sleep, but it isn’t quite sleep. It’s more like a trance, still peaceful though, so very peaceful.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 11" and below that "Secret loves revealed". On the right there is black text that reads: “Can you finish just one single sentence?”, Sebastian interrupts her. “She means to say that you two kissed in the kitchen! And there is so much talk about Castiel and Dean Winchester having been in love the whole time. Of course no hard evidence for that, but you do look like them and you did kiss in the kitchen and you are looking into sexual and/or romantic relationships between angels and humans, so what other conclusion could we really come to?”

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 12" and below that "Til death do us part - or not". On the right there is black text that reads: What a story… It leaves Dean a bit speechless and weirdly hurt. Hurt for these two? Yeah. If this rumor is true, if even just some parts of it are true, that means that clearly they must have felt like their love, their feelings for each other were not accepted or worse, that they were wrong, that something with them was wrong and most of all that they could never be together. The pure thought of them having felt that way makes Dean feel sick, physically sick. So much so that he feels his eyes become watery and he has to turn away from the embracing bodies, trying to take a deep breath.

Chapter 9-12!
#Destiel #SPNLove #queerwriters

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 5" and below that "Don't do this, Cas.". On the right there is black text that reads: As he listens to Cas's declaration of love this time around, a soft smile appears on Deans lips and as he reaches out to him this time around he does not grab onto his arms. Instead his hands find Cas's hands and he squeezes them, squeezes them hard, blinking against the tears that fill his eyes, causing them to run down his cheeks. Cas pauses, sucks in a breath.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 6" and below that "An angel and a human in love". On the right there is black text that reads: “I worried that if I came to you in heaven, you might break heaven's rules and we would get kicked out. And then that would have been my fault, because I came to you, because I fell for you and I was selfish in telling you. It was to save you, but it was still selfish of me and now here we are. And I know, I know you chose this too, you love me too and that's why we got kicked out of heaven and why we are here now, but... I still feel like it's my fault, like I did this to you, I forced you out of heaven. I took away your peace at last. And now the Empty is apparently messing with us and who knows what else will happen and it feels like it's all my fault...”

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 7" and below that "A heavenly bond forged in hell". On the right there is black text that reads: “Yes, your humanity corrupted me in the best way possible”, Cas smiles at him, a smile so very full of love Dean has to press his lips together for a moment. “Right...”, he mumbles and averts his eyes, cheeks warm, lump in his throat. Every goddamn time! Every goddamn time it feels like the first time, like he is learning about Cas's love for him for the first time every single time it comes up. What the hell's up with that!? It's very irritating.

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 8" and below that "Back at the bunker". On the right there is black text that reads: It’s madness to be loved in this most unconditional way. Madness on Cas’s part. What is it on Deans part? Is he the victim of Cas’s madness? No, he’s the source, he’s the poison, he’s what started it all. He is the madness. He is Cas’s madness. Cas’s madness and him are one and the same. Is that what they mean by being madly in love? Not simply an intense type of love that might as well be madness, but a love born out of madness. But if the madness came first, when did love even come into play? And if love came first, is that not also madness? Are love and madness really one and the same in the end, at the beginning, forever and always?

Chapter 5-8!
#Destiel #SPNLove #queerwriters

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 1" and below that "You can't call it season 16!". On the right there is black text that reads: “So, this is why I am making Season 16 happen. The ending just sucked. I mean I get some of it to a degree. But it still sucked. Especially the whole part with Castiel's love confession and everything with Dean after that and then Deans death. All of that really sucked. And then you had Bobby simply tell Dean that Cas helped!? So Cas is not in the Empty, he's not actually gone and yet there is no scene of Dean talking to him again? That's just cruel and you know it!”

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 2" and below that "Reunion in heaven". On the right there is black text that reads: “God, I am so done with you!”, Sam groans. “Even in heaven you can't allow yourself some peace and happiness. Even here you act like you still have to shut it all out. You don't, Dean! You don't! There is nothing here that can hurt you, [next word in italics] nothing! Finally accept your own feelings, for god's sake! For your own sake, for Cas's sake, for [next word in italics] love's sake!”

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 2" and below that "Reunion in heaven". On the right there is black text that reads: “God, I am so done with you!”, Sam groans. “Even in heaven you can't allow yourself some peace and happiness. Even here you act like you still have to shut it all out. You don't, Dean! You don't! There is nothing here that can hurt you, [next word in italics] nothing! Finally accept your own feelings, for god's sake! For your own sake, for Cas's sake, for [next word in italics] love's sake!”

Text on a gradient light green and blue background with a thin black frame around it. On the left there is bigger green text outlined with black and with a blue glow around it. That text says "Chapter/Episode 4" and below that "Back on earth". On the right there is black text that reads: But he does not look away, does not back away, does not let this fear get the better of him. He has had a taste of this now, a taste of Cas, of... of their... [next word in italics] love. This might not be heaven anymore. This might not be a totally safe space with no danger anymore. But it's still theirs. This is still their moment, their shared experience, their shared life.

Posted a thing over on tumblr celebrating writing and posting 20 chapters in 20 weeks of my #Destiel fic #SPNLove, so I will post it here too! :D
It's 20 lines, one from each chapter, with the word "love" in it! :D
Here are the first 4 chapters!
#queerwriters
(Fic spoilers ahead!)

Their whole dynamic of Dean being teasing and Cas taking everything way too seriously (or at least acting the part), which in the end totally backfires on Dean, is just the best for these kind of silly moments! :'D
#SPNLove

Gotta love Dean and Cas suddenly kind of randomly starting to talk about porn and if they should watch some together. Sure, guys, nothing else going on right now, is there? Not like you are trapped in a memory loop, right? o.o
#SPNLove

#queerwriters
Nothing special, just my same goal every week of writing as much as possible! :D
I would like to still make some sort of special thingy to celebrate 20 chapters of my #SPNLove fic, but we will see if that will actually happen. :'D

Can someone pls tell me why in the world I decided to put so much smut into this section of my #SPNLove fic??? Destiel smut is always such a mess to write! Why am I doing this to myself!? D:

#queerwriters
Yet another snippet from my big Destiel fanfic project #SPNLove. This one is from episode/chapter 9! :D

A fanfiction cover picture showing a screencap from what I think is a blooper of SPN where Dean and Castiel (or more like their actors) are doing a couple dance. The picture has blue orbs at the edges. The dark blue text on the top left reads "Supernatural Love". Below that there is white text with a green outline that reads "Episode 20:". Below that there is dark green text that reads "Stepping in and stepping up".

✎ Fanfiction 💕
I MADE IT TO CHAPTER 20!!! Wuuuh!!! 🎉
#SPNLove

- Fandom: #SPN
- Ship(s): #Destiel
- Post-Canon Fix-It
- Angst & Romance

💘Season 16: For Love's Sake or Supernatural 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮💘 ~ Episode 20: Stepping in and stepping up
🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/746645...

#queerwriters
Failed miserably with my first goal, meaning I did start writing Castiel x Soldier Boy fanfic... xD Working on the plot right this second!
I did not neglect writing on #SPNLove though! Didn't get back into writing on my own superheroes universe, but worked a bit on that plot too! :D

As I should have expected, writing more Destiel smut means that shit is taking ages and they keep going off on all sort of tangents and GUYS! Please focus on the sex! It's not that hard! xD
#SPNLove

To preserve some sort of self-discipline, I will write on #SPNLove first. My condition for starting yet another writing project is that I will NOT allow myself to neglect my currently biggest!

#queerwriters
I just posted episode/chapter 19 of #SPNLove, so here is a little sneak peak for episode/chapter 20! :D
Went with the word "suspicious" for this one.

A fanfiction cover picture showing a screencap from what I think is a blooper of SPN where Dean and Castiel (or more like their actors) are doing a couple dance. The picture has blue orbs at the edges. The dark blue text on the top left reads "Supernatural Love". Below that there is white text with a green outline that reads "Episode 19:". Below that there is dark green text that reads "Getting closer".

A screenshot of the Summary for "Chapter 19: Getting closer" of the fanfiction "Season 16: For Love's Sake or Supernatural Love". At the top it says the chapter number and title. Below "Summary:" it reads: Dean tries to get over himself by constantly being physically close with Cas, which does result in things going slightly further between them. However instead of being the breakthrough Dean wants it to be, it results in him having to face a memory he successfully repressed for a long time.

✎ Fanfiction 💕
Got so excited over 1 single line, I wrote 5k of this chapter in one day! :'D
#SPNLove

- Fandom: #SPN
- Ship(s): #Destiel
- Post-Canon Fix-It
- Angst & Romance

💘Season 16: For Love's Sake or Supernatural 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮💘 ~ Episode 19: Getting closer
🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/746645...

Actually nevermind, I am already dragging this out so much because #SPNLove is a longfic, so it feels more okay to have it build over numerous chapters. It might end up building over like 10 chapters in the end... xD

I am trying to imagine how the "actually touching each other sexually" smutty stuff in #SPNLove will be like and uhm... my brain is just empty when I try to do that, so... Now I am scared... xD

lol I specifically wrote on #SPNHappiness today instead of #SPNLove to avoid having to look at the SPN wiki, but now I had to look at it anyway and I discovered lore I can't know because I never watched The Winchesters. So now I feel weird. xD

I am lowkey dreading having to go into the SPN wiki again for my #SPNLove writing... xD
I just always get so lost. I only want to look up a specific episode/scene this time, but... who knows where I will end up! xD

#queerwriters
Yet another line from my Destiel fic #SPNLove! :D This is from episode/chapter 14. Haha I feel like I just wrote that yesterday, but I am already writing on chapter 20 now... xD

A fanfiction cover picture showing a screencap from what I think is a blooper of SPN where Dean and Castiel (or more like their actors) are doing a couple dance. The picture has blue orbs at the edges. The dark blue text on the top left reads "Supernatural Love". Below that there is white text with a green outline that reads "Episode 18:". Below that there is dark green text that reads "A home".

✎ Fanfiction 💕
Idk what to say about this chapter, it's cute! :'D Updated the tags a bit btw!
#SPNLove

- Fandom: #SPN
- Ship(s): #Destiel
- Post-Canon Fix-It
- Angst & Romance

💘Season 16: For Love's Sake or Supernatural 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮💘 ~ Episode 18: A home
🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/746645...

Is there a kink about wanting to glue yourself to another person? Because if there is, Dean absolutely has that in my fic #SPNLove. xD
It keeps coming up without me even meaning to bring it up again! xD

Not that #SPNLove is fluff all around currently, but it is mainly fluff right now. Might write a bit more on that too tonight. Gotta figure out how to progress the smutty stuff and that will be an experience, I can already tell. xD

#queerwriters
Here's a little line from episode/chapter 16 of #SPNLove aka the one I posted last week! :D

A fanfiction cover picture showing a screencap from what I think is a blooper of SPN where Dean and Castiel (or more like their actors) are doing a couple dance. The picture has blue orbs at the edges. The dark blue text on the top left reads "Supernatural Love". Below that there is white text with a green outline that reads "Episode 17:". Below that there is dark green text that reads "Beating up and beating off".

✎ Fanfiction 💕
I am sorry for this kind of cringy title... xD But I do also love it! xD
#SPNLove

- Fandom: #SPN
- Ship(s): #Destiel
- Post-Canon Fix-It
- Angst & Romance

💘Season 16: For Love's Sake or Supernatural 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮💘 ~ Episode 17: Beating up and beating off
🔗 archiveofourown.org/works/746645...

Okay it's still quite a while until I get to the scene that reveals that hidden cruelty, so I can be more relaxed about it for now. xD
#SPNLove

I realized that there is a hidden underlying cruelty to the scene of #SPNLove I am currently writing and it's kinda killing me. But I think it's too late to back out now. The plan is already too clear in my head. xD

#queerwriters
Yet another scene from my Destiel fic #SPNLove. This is a snippet from their reunion in heaven at the start of the fic! :D