#Bookreview for.. #ScissorMeTimbers by Phrique. This was a blasphemous unholy erotic seduction of a ride. With bits of humour and horror. ⚠️Check Your Triggers ⚠️4/5⭐️s

#Bookreview for #ScissorMeTimbers What fun blasphemous unholy seduction this was.. with a bit of horror and humour. 4/5⭐️s. ⚠️ Check Your Triggers ⚠️ and not intended for everyone.

I’m so hyped for everyone to get their hands on my 3rd, thiccest/unholiest abomination yet, plus they get to see that #sacrilicious back cover first. 🤫 If you are going to be at AuthorCon V - Williamsburg in a week & want a copy of #ScissorMeTimbers, can I get an amen? 🙏🏽

I loved “Brick by Brick” enough to make it the official bookmark for #ScissorMeTimbers! Preorder is Amazon/Kindle, official release date: 4.1.25. Physical copies/all merch go live on my site 4.1.25 as well. If you can’t wait, the ebook is already available on phrique.bigcartel.com 🙏🏽

Just before the clock strikes 12 & it becomes National Phrique Day: an observation. I just noticed how REVOLTING navels are. Likeeeeee I feel utterly disturbed just looking at that gallery of lint & sebum salad bowls. 🤢

also: enjoy a preview for the bookmark for #ScissorMeTimbers!

If the devil’s in the details, color me bedeviled. I designed/drew all my chapter breaks for GOTD & LMUWFG, so I had to bring it w/ this 1. The official chapter break logo for #ScissorMeTimbers was inspired by Chapter 7: She Loves Me Knot. I wanted sacrilicious that got your holy macaroni stirring.😻

Official cover reveal for my upcoming novel, #ScissorMeTimbers! This is a special cover reveal tho. It’s not just for my 3rd & girthiest abomination to date, it’s also for the first cover I’ve hand-drawn all by myself. 🙀
#horrorsky #horrorcommunity #splatterpunk

The official cover reveal for #ScissorMeTimbers is tomorrow, but Substack subscribers get to see it NOW plus the official synopsis. 🙀 I couldn’t think of a better day to drop my 3rd abomination. Amen! 🖤

Impatience isn’t a sin:
open.substack.com/pub/phrique/...

By the pricking of my thumbs, something sapphic this way cums.

Say your prayers, #ScissorMeTimbers is cumming! 💦

Taking a break from read thru/edit phase for SMT so I started this Papa Palahniuk one. It is the most VAGINAL book i have EVER read. & for those who didn’t know, #ScissorMeTimbers would have Georgia O’Keefe saying, ALRIGHT WE GET IT GEEZ. So I def need to vet these better. I’m enjoying it tho. 🖤

Now I am going to do my read through before I hand it off to my editor & pray they have their anointing oils on hand. 😩 #ScissorMeTimbers, my unholiest abomination is cumming soon! 🙏🏽💦

P.s. How anticlimactic is just a “the end” screen, so I said why not give you all a gander at the chapter titles?🤭

#ScissorMeTimbers has officially hit 60k words! Which was NOT the plan for my lil sapphic lumberjack nunsploitation story @ all. Yet here we are. Only 2 chapters left & I’m thinking 70k is going to be the magic number. That is, if I stop devoting whole paragraphs to Mother Superior’s mustache. 🖤

These are the little scenes that give me the warm & fuzzies. This familiar, unwavering little nun might not be superior, but that doesn’t mean she’s completely heartless. Unless you reallllly push her that is. 🖤 #ScissorMeTimbers

Whip Me Baby One More Time. Final research for Scissor Me Timbers has been beating me down. 🫦

Who knew the true way to have your prayers answered was to seal it w/ a bloody kiss? Mother Superior finally figured it all out. She knows the only way to get things done is to roll up her sleeves & cut off the hand that causes her to sin. #ScissorMeTimbers research can be such a pleasurable pain. 🖤

Huzzah! I made it to 50k in #ScissorMeTimbers! I’m at about 80% now sooo we are getting there. I’m just pulling the sutures together & giving my lil abomination some room to grow now before I finish the last chapters. I’m so excited for this one. 🖤 #splatterpunk

Tonight’s #research for #ScissorMeTimbers is going down the rabbit hole of the “discipline” clergy would subject themselves to in the name of “sanctification.” My Mother Superior is a firm believer in the offering of blood to prove her faith. The only problem? It kinda lights her prayer candle. 🫦

Writing can seem boring/hard to showcase on social media. Lucky for me, I write w/e the voices tell me to. This leads to some odd…usually silly “bloopers.” Some of them stay, some don’t. Not during sex scene tho. Outtakes from the upcoming #ScissorMeTimbers!
Warning: pg13 unholy stuff here. 🤫

The breakout star of #GigoftheDamned was Heaux B. Hayve! It hurt to see her go…but alas there can only be 1 queen. Worry not, it won’t be the last you see of her tho. You might even get a little cameo from our demure little dominatrix in one helluva trip in #ScissorMeTimbers! 🖤 #HorrorWritersChat

They call Mother Superior…Mother Posterior in #ScissorMeTimbers b/c of her biblically large ass. I work jokes in but never had an origin story until JUST now. It never dawned on me, what’s better than a homegrown Xmas ham? One built from pure spite!

Behold: the birth of booty 🍑
#squatsandoats