My dad says "gesinderblatz" when I sneeze. #ShitMyDadSays
#vintageAI
#ducks
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#shrooms
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#DonaldTrumpSmellsLIkeAss
#SissySpaceX
#Skullduggery
#MilkToast
#Epstein
#SaveChocolateMilk
#ShitMyDadSays
Doink! And he's safe at second base! Poor guy. You gotta pay attention.
#ShitMyDadSays
That boat is STILL stuck in the sand over in Milwaukee? Jesus Christ, they should've just called me. Idiots.
#ShitMyDadSays
👆 Bring it back, it was so fun!
"DON'T EVER leave a roll of duct tape in your vee-hickle in this kind of weather! It'll wind up being the last stupid thing you ever did!"
#ShitMyDadSays
"How's everything tasting so far?!"
"Good! Can I have another roll?"
#ShitMyDadSays
"Your mother went to Kwik Trip for more butter. I gotta look at that turkey!"
I said, "You can't look at that turkey, dad. She'll know."
He looked at my sister. She nodded her head no and softly mumbled, "You can't lift the lid, dad."
#ShitMyDadSays
#HappyThanksgiving
Any chance that any of you remember #ShitMyDadSays from back in the good old days?
What's happened to Dianne Abbott, he asked?
AND who is Dianne Abbott?
Labour's first black MP. She's retiring. I'm retired he said.
I don't know where he gets this stuff.
Too many antique and car refurbishment programmes then bullseye.
Dad's random sentence generator. #shitmydadsays
I moved back home on 9/3/22 out of need nothing else. My Dad yesterday, you're a bully. He said absent-mindedly. Dad, we did that #neurodivergent test together. You were 5% higher than me. This is all on you. Sorry, son. I didn't know. I told you! Oh yeah. You did. #shitmydadsays
In the spirit of "maybe if I tweet my dad's bon mots they will irritate me less," today's contribution: "well, you're as feisty as ever!" #shitmydadsays
"They're doing some tests and they're going to let us know more when they know more." #ShitMyDadSays
"I think I could be a rapper." #ShitMyDadSays
"I don't believe in lotion. It's a terrorist plot to soften us up!" #shitmydadsays #whateven
"When we're in public, you call me "brother". #shitmydadsays
@mattfraction [P] Thw whole concept of #ASSDAD is my new Favorite Thing Ever. WAAAY cooler than #shitmydadsays.
#shitmydadsays "I don't understand how one can enjoy playing a game!" Seriously? How does one even explain that?
Mom: "Those [acapella singers] are gay." Dad: "If they were, they'd have higher voices." #tar #theamazingrace #shitmydadsays
Dear: US TV, we do have 6 other nights in a week to spread things out. My PVR is workin overtime! #theoffice #bigbangtheory #shitmydadsays
"I had the idea for a "talk 'n hear". Some jerk had the same idea. Telephone's a stupid name for it." #shitmydadsays
William Shatner born for “#(@& My Dad Says” sitcom archive.shortformblog.com/culture/william-shatner-... #news #shitmydadsays
"It's not fun if it isn't dangerous." - Ray Laureano #shitmydadsays