I had one more picture I forgot to post yesterday.
I'll use this opportunity to also thank @theonion.com and @bencollins.bsky.social for being such an inspiration for me and for making so many better jokes than me that I have to do my best to not rip off. #TotallyRealSBFacts ♥️
#TotallyRealSBFacts 2026 is in the books!Thank you as always to my cowritters @blanksy42.bsky.social and @rachelblank.bsky.social for making me sound funnier than I am! I'm going to DW!!!
Totally Real Fact #12: Superbowl LX is broadcast an hour away from the set of The Room, where football throw was first invented. #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #11: It looks like this game is all but over. Oh wait! They are playing Mr. Brightside! JOSH ALLEN HAS TAKEN THE FIELD AND HE HAS A STEEL CHAIR! HE’S KNOCKED OUT BOTH TEAMS AND HE’S MAKING OFF WITH THE SUPER BOWL BELT! #TotallyRealSBFacts
Totally Real Fact #11: Seattle uniforms have never been the same since the NFL cracked down on their penchant for flannel shirts and torn jeans #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #10: This Heated Rivalry is not nearly as hot as I thought it would be #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #9: Patriots players were sent into a full blown panic attack when they learned they were playing against a starting quarterback #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football
#TotallyRealSBFacts is brought to you this year by Big-Corporation who wants to remind you to PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE USE OUR AI FEATURES SO WE CAN LAY OFF OUR WORKFORCE 🥺🥺🥺 #ToallyRealADVertisement
Totally Real Fact #7: Whoever at the Superbowl wrote on the Jumbotron "THE ONLY THING STRONGER THAN HATE IS LOVE" has clearly never talked to this guy #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football #Kendrick
Totally Real Fact #6: Protest halftime shows are taking place in an effort to clout-chase off of the Super Bowl. We here at #TotallyRealSBFacts find this behavior pathetic and silly. And if you agree, please like, comment, and subscribe to #TotallyRealSBFacts!
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #5: Last year Tom Brady received a lot of criticism for cloning his dog. But if Drake Maye is able to pull this win off, he will make his pet parent so happy. #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #5: To increase the efficiency of your sports enjoyment, NBC will only be broadcasting an AI Overview of tonight’s game! #totallyrealsbfacts
#Superbowl #Football
If no one wants to score a touchdown, it looks like I #TotallyRealSBFacts will have to!
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #4: If you need to know how many funny facts there will be this year to hit on your 11 leg parley, there will only be 4. And this is not one of them. #totallyrealsbfacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real SB Fact #3: Every time a Patriot throws an interception, an Seahawk gets its wings. #totallyrealsbfacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #2: After what happened last year, Maye is trying not to be the second Drake murdered at the Superbowl. #TotallyRealSBFacts
#Superbowl #Football
Totally Real Fact #1: You could play Super Bowl LX. But for $5000 more, you could get Super Bowl LXS with heated seats and a luxurious leather interior. #totallyrealsbfacts
#Superbowl #Football
Don't wanna be an American idiot?
Don't want these plays under review-ia
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The pigski-minal mindfuck America
Welcome to a new year of #TotallyRealSBFacts
All across the NFL nation
Where everything is factual!
#Superbowl #Football
That's a wrap for #TotallyRealSBFacts 2025! Thank you as always to my cowritters @blanksy42.bsky.social and @rachelblank.bsky.social for making me sound funnier than I am! I'm going to DW!!!
Totally Real Fact #11: The refs have decided to remove 21 points from the Eagles because Patrick Mahomes had his fingers crossed behind his back when he threw those interceptions. #totallyrealsbfacts #SuperBowl
#TotallyRealSBFacts is brought to you this year by Big-Corporation who wants to remind you that we support the rights of black people (now that it's trendy), but we are also ending any diversity programs. Please buy our products. #ToallyRealADVertisement #SuperBowl
Totally Real Fact #10: The fact that the Pro Bowl exists implies that the Super Bowl is played by amateurs. #totallyrealsbfacts #SuperBowl
Totally Real Fact #9: Once these players realize that there’s a part of your foot called the ball, they are going to feel so silly #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl
Totally Real Fact #8: Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni is a fellow upstate New Yorker, and knows exactly what the Bills Mafia will do to him if he does not deliver retribution tonight #TotallyRealSBFacts #AwfulNiceKneecapsYouGotThere
#SuperBowl
Totally Real Fact #7: Patrick Mahomes is spending his halftime trying to figure out if it is worse to be shut out in the Super Bowl or be called a pedophile on national television. #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl
I look forward to boycotting whichever brand uses an AI generated ad first #TotallyRealSBFacts
Totally Real Totally Real SB Fact Fact #1: Like every year, fans of Totally Real SB Facts will receive one free fact for every touchdown the Bills score. So pay up! #TotallyRealSBFacts
Totally Real Fact #6: It may seem like a bad idea for the Chiefs to keep giving the ball back to The Eagles but they are hoping that they can tire out Jalen Hurts by scoring so much. #TotallyRealSBFacts #SuperBowl
