He watched her angrily nocking and losing arrows, as if instead of the target, she very much wanted to hit something else. Quietly, he separated from the shadows and moved to stand beside her, out of range in case she intended to hit him with a fist, too close if she wanted to effectively lose an arrow at him. Not as quietly as that she would be too startled. She glanced over for a split second, then nocked another arrow. “Hey,” he said. She pulled back her arm, trembling. The fact she had noticed him, nullified the likelihood of her shooting him by accident. He had to just risk her doing so on purpose. Carefully he stretched out his hand, touching her just below the shoulder. “You seem agitated. What’s going on?” She huffed, still aiming at the target, seemingly oblivious to the strain in her arm. Her pursing her lips told him she was annoyed at her own body setting limits, and, finally realising the quivering in her muscles, she relaxed both bow and arm. Instead of answering directly, she shook her head a little crestfallen. “Tell me.” She sighed. A few moments passed where neither of them moved. Her eyes were unfocussed, staring holes into the ground. He knew to give her time to collect herself, before prodding her further. “Ok. Well. This is stupid—“ Not an unusual way for her to start a conversation about emotional upsets. He had learned not to correct her when she was downplaying the impact of her emotions, calling herself or her reactions stupid. That she was not, in fact, stupid, would usually become self-evident after a while anyway. Instead, he gently grabbed her bow and arrow, filed the latter back into her quiver and placed the first on a makeshift table behind them. She rolled her shoulders and neck, flexed her fingers. It seemed like she had been out here for a while. “It’s just something Cath said. It hit me a bit too deep.” He inclined his head, listening. “She said she was a bit jealous, and, I mean I get it but also… it feels so unfair, you know?”
“Hmm.” He leaned against the table, patting the space next to him. She stretched her arms, then hopped on the wooden surface, seating herself beside him. “I mean in her defence, I think she’s been in a dark place lately… but… you know.” Right. Defending others before fending for herself. Ironic, how she took it out with combat arts. She kicked the air with her legs, chewing on her lip uncomfortably. “What did she say?” he asked. One thing she would probably never fully understand, or believe, about him, was how very tangible her emotional distress felt to him. When her frequency was off, like this, it cut through him like a serrated knife. The things she did not allow herself to feel, he would. That is what it meant to be her shield. “It’s really not that big of a deal, but she said she was jealous.” Not a big deal. Right. Only enough to shoot up — he scanned the area — three entire targets to bits. “Of you?” He leaned in a little playfully, bumping her shoulder with his. “Of me?” “Pshh, not of you. Just that I’ve been kind of successful lately. Energised. Productive. Just really feeling in my element, you know?” “Ah,” he said, “so kind of jealous of me.” He could not help but grin. She punched his shoulder, and he pretended it hurt. “Taking all the credit, huh?” “Just a bit of it. Rightfully so.” “Right. Well. I don’t know. It’s like… I get feeling jealous of that, but it just felt so unfair, because … I mean… I’ve not felt like this in like, a decade. I’ve not been able to vibe like this for what feels like forever, properly feel myself, feel that I’m doing what I’ve always meant to be doing, and having fun doing it, and just really… being happy, you know?” “Mmhm.”
“While she’s been extremely successful in that area for basically the entire time that I haven’t, so basically, forever. And now that I am, it didn’t take very long and there’s this negativity from her, where I didn’t expect it. I didn’t think it would hit that hard. But I thought… I mean I thought she’d feel more like what I felt last time, when I was with someone who was vibing like this, even if I wasn’t, you know, when I was with… uh, him.” He perked up an eyebrow. “Because he was so goddamn successful while I wasn’t doing shit, and all I felt was adoration and inspiration. I felt inspired, not jealous. And back then, it really made me realise how that is what it’s supposed to be like. When you love someone, I guess.” “You weren’t jealous?” It took him some small effort not to hook into her talking about love, it was rare enough. “Hmm…”, she threw her head back, pursing her lips. “No, I didn’t feel jealousy. I felt a small regret of not being like that, for a short time, but somehow it just ended up sparking my muse. It was captivating, contagious.” “But you have felt jealousy before, when others had the spark you were lacking.” “Absolutely.” “So you’re not actually angry at her being jealous.” “I’m not?” He shook his head. “Think about it. It reminds me a bit of you. You’ve felt the exact same before. Then you went through a change, and suddenly, you experienced something else, where you expected to feel like that.” “So what do you think I was feeling?” He shook his head again. “Told you to think about it yourself.” She groaned, then closed her eyes, thinking. “You mean that… I’m not angry for her initial reaction or how it came out…” “Probably not, no.”
“So maybe it’s more like… I’m sad she couldn’t… I’m sad she would have negative reactions at all about me being like this, feeling this, living like this, because I experienced that loving someone means that you truly share their happiness, that it would not be dulled by something ugly like jealousy or bitterness, and maybe I just felt betrayed, or I’m just scared or sad she just doesn’t love me?” “Hmm, maybe yes.” She stared at him. “Maybe? Was there more?” He laughed softly. “Only you would know. But I don’t think you’re really angry. And you said it right away, you said ‘it hit deep’. You just acted it out in anger. But really I think you were just… sad.” He reached out and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, doing his best not to tease her about her cheeks flushing. “And maybe… you know. Maybe she isn’t jealous either. Maybe she is also just… sad.” She blinked. “Huh…” They sat in silence. After a while, she leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder. Then, she asked. “What would she be sad about? Missing being like this, herself?” “For example,” he said. “Hmm. I see. Okay. I see now.” She kicked the air again. “I guess I’ll go give her a hug.” He smiled, squeezing her thigh reassuringly, and only ever so slightly, suggestively. “Go do that. I’ll be around.” She pushed off the table, demeanour teetered towards something brighter, and at ease. Before he could vanish into the shadows again, she turned around. “Oh and… thanks. Thank you.” She smiled. “Always.” And shadow he became once more. Lynn Peyo
Today, life inspired to write as soon as I got up⚡️
Job got in the way.
Then the clock saying “you’re past your bedtime, AGAIN” got in the way.
I did my best to ignore both.
Here’s my flash for
#vss365 #dark #WIPSnips #defence #BraveWrite #tangible #MoonMystic #abitofyou
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