A Waitrose employee of 17 years has said he's devastated about being sacked after stopping a shoplifter after they ransacked a display of Lindt gold bunny easter eggs. Though a rival shop has now offered him a job, so the man's going to Iceland
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Danny Robins has claimed his paranormal podcast is ‘bigger than the news’. Scary, heart-raising, and full of strange looking characters, the news is typically on at 6pm and 10pm.
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Caribbean Airlines confirmed a passenger on a flight from Jamaica to New York gave birth just as the flight was landing at John F. Kennedy Airport. They were congratulated by the crew, before being slapped with a fine for an increase in their baggage.
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A Waitrose employee who was sacked after trying to stop a shoplifter stealing Easter Eggs has been offered a job at Iceland, in the hope that if President Trump comes anywhere near Greenland he will not let him any further.
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A man has been arrested on suspicion of theft after about £200,000 raised towards a scouts trip to Canada was stolen. The thief was caught thanks to the hard work of the police, who earned a ‘crime solving’ badge for their troubles.
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HMS Dragon, a destroyer sent to defend British air bases in Cyprus, will be docked after experiencing a "minor technical issue”, after HMS George ran it through with a lance.
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The cost-of-living crisis will “get worse” as a result of US and Israeli action in Iran, Scotland’s First Minister has said, as he called for action, though sadly for him the CalMac Ferry doesn’t stop off at the Strait of Hormuz.
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Landlords will be retrained to recognise the signs of people who have been in the sauna too long, by opening a packet of pork scratchings from behind the bar and making notes.
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Pubs replacing saunas could make certain soap operas like Hollyoaks more popular, though people will be less inclined to tune in to see the Rovers Return customers topless.
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If pubs do replace saunas then whole groups of bouncers will have to be retrained to stop anybody entering with their shirt on.
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A woman who defrauded her elderly aunt out of more than £300,000 to build a gym has been jailed for two-and-a-half years, becoming just another gym user who signs-up and then doesn’t bother going.
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A Waitrose employee of 17 years has described his devastation after being sacked for stopping a shoplifter who had ransacked a display of Easter eggs. But after an appeal by MPs and, in spirit with the season, he’ll be back in three days time.
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A hungry pup has sprinted to victory in Musselburgh's annual Corgi Derby, spurred on by the promise of a hot dog at the finish line, which was actually Rover, who came sixty-eighth.
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Proposals to turn a former Scotland pub into a family home have been approved, after developers successfully argued that two other pubs were "more than adequate" in the town, though it has ruined the annual pub crawl.
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A Scottish Green election candidate has revealed she wants to abolish prisons, drawing criticism from other MPs, the public, and the makers of the Edinburgh Monopoly who says it will ruin the gameplay.
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Bob Dylan has shared news of a Patreon series, Lectures From The Grave, which appears to feature AI generated elements. It is not the artist’s first foray into AI, as he revealed the cue cards in the Subterranean Homesick Blues video were written by an early form of Chat GPT.
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A woman impersonated her husband’s voice to embezzle thousands of pounds as part of a mortgage and pension fraud. The police confirmed that she was in deep trouble, appropriately.
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Mr Benn is set for a live action remake, from the writer and director of I Swear, and will tackle contemporary subjects such as fast fashion, cultural appropriation, and the effect of high street chains on independent shops.
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Parenthood doesn’t make people happy, study finds. Researchers looked for signs that having children led to a measurable increase in positive emotions — and found none, though the survey was conducted at 3 in the morning in between replays of ‘Baby Shark’.
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A study has found that in places where men feel pressure to prove their manhood, the population tends to be less healthy as well as less trusting, but at least they have plenty of shelves and all the bottle tops have been loosened.
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A first step towards bringing one of Robert Burns' favourite pubs back into use has been given the all-clear as a community stepped in to restore it, though the group is having trouble finding it as the previous owners sent the address to a haggis.
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An islands council is to auction off an electric bin lorry it stopped using just months after buying it for about £456,000. Accused of huge waste, the council have had to throw the bin lorry into a slightly larger bin lorry.
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Spoof BBC comedy series, Twenty Twenty Six, is to take on the World Cup, with Hugh Bonneville reprising his role as Ian Fletcher. Things take a dark turn in episode one when he launches a war against one of the participants… oh no, that’s real life…
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Jamie Lee Curtis' Murder, She Wrote reboot will be released next year and will be given a modern twist, as the fictional detective has to prove she didn’t write the plots using Chat GPT.
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The NHS suggests you should aim for five portions of Fruit Island per day, which is easy when it’s created by AI.
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A mass robotaxi outage in the Chinese city of Wuhan caused at least a hundred self-driving cars to stop mid-traffic. Politicians are keeping their fingers crossed that the outage wasn’t caused by some sort of virus.
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Scientists have revealed that the preparation of coffee, may dictate the taste of the drink, after X-ray scans reveal grind size is key for the perfect espresso. Though this research comes at little consolation to all those with broken bones waiting for the x-ray.
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A judge in Brazil has blocked a project to build a zipline connecting the famous Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro to a nearby hill, which means things aren’t looking good for the bungee jump off Christ the Redeemer.
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A light-up C-3PO head used in Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back has fetched more than 1 million dollars at auction, thought it does require some new batteries to stop it being a little on the dark side.
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Celine Dion has announced a stage comeback after amid her battle with Stiff person syndrome. Unfortunately, she’s only doing a 10-day residency in Paris so you’ll have to wait until she goes on tour to see her near, far, or wherever you are.
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