Just saying I've never really met an Amish person I didn't think was kind of on the spectrum

#comingcorrect #mentalamishanguish

Every "Salt Life" sticker I see is a car being driven by someone who looks like they can't swim

#comingcorrect #saltlifeswimmies

What do you mean you don't like Big Red gum? It's like eating a cinnamon twist that just won't quit.

#comingcorrect #2legit2quit

Asked a Trumpland grocery store cashier where the teriyaki sauce was and they called ICE on me

#comingcorrect #iceicebaby

What do you mean white people don't have culture? Look around at all these badass new gas stations with their really nice bathrooms. You're welcome.

#comingcorrect #alsolinedancing

I asked my MAGA family how do snowflake libtards run back to their safe places if they all live in big and dangerous cities?

They said they'll have to get back to me.

#comingcorrect #stillwaiting

Doing God's work

#comingcorrect #pumpofsilence

"Homemade Amish Jelly"

Read the sign as I pondered is there any other way to make it?

#comingcorrect #fafo

Got yelled at and called a cracker while walking to a Ryan Adams show last night and after sleeping on it I've determined that was completely fair.

#comingcorrect #adamsfamily

I'm a trophy husband, still counts even if it's a participation trophy.

#comingcorrect #trophyhubby

There's nothing softer than a snowflake liberal. Now give me that low alcohol beer that taste like apple cider.

#comingcorrect #buschbadass

You can't reason with people who think driving through the mud is a fun Saturday afternoon.

#comingcorrect #dumbandmudder

You have to have faith in your thoughts and prayers so that you don't have to do anything that might actually be helpful.

#comingcorrect #livingonaprayer

"We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We're going to live on!

We're going to survive!"

#comingcorrect #independenceday

After the female orgasm the second myth I was told growing up was that Summer Bible School was a vacation.

#comingcorrect #childhoodlies

Redneck: How much that cooler cost?

Redneck 2: Too much but it's bear proof. (Bears live no where close to here)

Redneck: Well, it's worth it then.

#comingcorrect #bearproofcooler

That tradwife life is only for the committed. My MAGA sister-in-law commits to waiting on the UPS truck then the Amazon truck and finally the FedEx truck everyday!

#comingcorrect #tradlife

Vaccines are dangerous. Just ask my MAGA brother, but you'll have to wait. He's in the shitter again dealing with a ripped asshole from injecting chemicals into his body to lose weight the healthy Ozembic way.

#comingcorrect #MAHA

This story made me laugh so hard the hostess at the restaurant came over to make sure no one was choking.

#comingcorrect #goatchoke

What do you mean a volcano "suddenly" erupted? Is it supposed to call to tell everyone first?

#comingcorrect #liquidhotmagma

I'm not saying you're dumb but my accident-proned one-handed, never voted and burns his own trash redneck old man isn't even MAGA.

#comingcorrect #tradlife

Why is someone being towed from a church parking lot when the Church sign reads "Everyone Welcome"

#comingcorrect #fafo

The MAGA birthday had a pony they drugged for the kids to ride. His enormous erection was just a bonus for everyone.

#comingcorrect #bonerbirthday

Just stop it Peppermint, you can't be a breath freshener and candy.

#comingcorrect #mintlies

I'm not sure if the security guard at the dispensary needs to be drug tested but that dude looks like he for sure isn't.

#comingcorrect #forhigher

MAGA little nephew is turning 5 this weekend, getting him a library card for shits and giggles.

#comingcorrect #tradlife

Is this real life? These shouldn't cause any problems or anything...

#comingcorrect #duifresh

Weird Homily message today at Easter Mass in the burbs.
"If you parked on the left side of the VFW you will be towed."

#comingcorrect #fafo

I don't get a lot of things about MASS but mainly why can't I take my coffee?

#comingcorrect #massconfusion

My hometown believes roundabouts are Communists. But wouldn't they make you turn left then?

#comingcorrect #soundsroundaboutright