a screenshot of a Word document. It reads: Luffy stared at Sanji’s living room ceiling and breathed. Tried to breathe. Gasped.
It was late. Bedtime. The others had gone upstairs ages ago, Chopper to study, Zoro and Sanji to have sex or whatever. Probably. They were pretty quiet about it, if they were even doing it at all. Luffy didn’t really get it, really. The only reason he wanted to put his mouth on someone would be to eat them, and most people didn’t want to get eaten.
He squirmed under the couch blanket, sticking his hand down his pants. Mmm. Eh? It didn’t feel bad to touch his own dick, but, like – it was just another thing. He’d been trying it out a little more since Koby spent their sleepover teaching him about gay stuff and not-gay stuff, but it was still kind of boring. He could jerk himself off – he’d done it before, and he’d probably do it again – but it was a lot of work for a lot of fluff, and it was pretty gross. Why did they like this stuff? Why did everyone like it so much?
He pulled his hand out and rolled over, shoving his face into the dark place where the back cushion met the bottom cushion. He missed Zoro. He missed the waves rocking him to sleep, the stars through the porthole, the distant barge horns and pluff mud smell. He missed knowing that he wasn’t alone. He missed knowing that he wasn’t dead.
He frowned and rolled over the other way, stretching for his phone on the coffee table to check the time. It’d been at least an hour of not falling asleep, and he didn’t think it was gonna get any easier. They were totally done having sex by now, right? Right.
Luffy threw off the blanket and rolled to his feet. He crept through the dark house, up the stairs, past Chopper’s closed door to Sanji’s. Kuina drifted through the wall to meet him. He smiled. “Hey,” he whispered, giving her a scratch behind the ears. “Are they done in there?”
A screenshot of a Word document. It reads: Kuina wove through his fingers, humming about Zoro’s happiness. Luffy’s smile grew. “Great!” He knocked. “Zoro? Sanji?” he called, pitching his voice low so he didn’t wake up Chopper. “Are y’all naked?”
Kuina laughed as voices muttered and the floor creaked. Luffy waited until the door opened – Sanji!
Sanji blinked at him, hair all over the place and eyes foggy – were his pants on backwards? Oh, they had been naked. Oops. “Luffy?” Sanji yawned. “¿Pasa algo malo?”
Luffy blinked a few times. “If you and Zoro are done having sex, can I sleep with y’all?” Sanji coughed, eyes bugging. Luffy stuck out his bottom lip. “Please?”
“That’s – what – I mean–”
Zoro appeared at Sanji’s shoulder, holding onto the door by Sanji’s face and leaning on his back, chin on Sanji’s bare shoulder, eyes barely open. “Couch not good enough for you?” Luffy shook his head. Zoro sighed. “Fine, whatever.” He snagged Sanji around the waist and hauled him away from the door, ignoring Sanji’s sleepy sputtering. “Go ahead, get in.”
Luffy perked up and darted inside. He kicked Zoro’s pants out of the way and jumped on the rumpled bed, crawling under the covers and snuggling in the middle. He watched Zoro talk Sanji down from his fluffy panic attack with slow neck kisses and a lot of grab-hands. Luffy swished it around. Did he want that for himself? To do it to somebody, or have somebody do it to him? They seemed happy doing it – Sanji was calming down, and Zoro’s forehead was smooth as butter against Sanji’s shoulder, but… Bleh. Bleh.
Zoro nipped Sanji’s ear, teeth flashing in the moonlight. Sanji sagged, head knocking back on Zoro’s bare shoulder. Hmm. Nope. Luffy was glad they liked it, though. He patted the bed next to him, comforter puffing up. “C’mon, I’m sleepy!”
a screenshot of a Word document. It reads: Zoro pushed Sanji towards the bed, ignoring his whining as he tucked Sanji in tight. Luffy wrapped around Sanji as Zoro got in the other side, nuzzling into Sanji’s hairy shoulder. Sanji sighed, the rest of his tension releasing. “You both do realize that this is extremely weird,” he said.
Zoro huffed. “Yeah, you get used to it.” Luffy closed his eyes and sniffed Sanji, cigarettes and toothpaste and funky BO. Was that what sex smelled like? Gross. Zoro kicked Luffy under the blankets. “If you’re gonna take the middle, you gotta scoot over.”
Luffy scooched in, tucking his feet under Sanji’s knee. Sanji grumbled, but turned enough to hold Luffy back, burying his hand in Luffy’s hair, his beard scratchy on Luffy’s forehead. “This is my life now,” Sanji moaned. “Beholden to the whims of two cuttlefish that are allergic to shirts and with the tastes of a Labrador retriever.” He sighed again. “Is this gonna happen every night?”
Luffy smiled. “That sounds nice.” He flopped his top arm over Sanji’s belly, hooking his fingers in Sanji’s saint medallion chain. “I don’t wanna have sex with you, though.”
Zoro snorted while Sanji squawked. “See? Told you.” Zoro rolled away from them, pressing his back to Luffy’s. “Night.”
Luffy closed his eyes, Sanji’s heartbeat thudding away under his ear. “Night.”
you and me and your friend Luffy for #wipwednesday on #ghosthunterau