"C is for Cat. Also known as grimalkins and witch familiars. They are expert potion makers and they love vehicular manslaughter.
They run fur coat black markets and own all the Long John Silvers Fish franchises."
- Griddle The Dog.
#AlphabetChallenge #CforCat
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"B is for Bastard who dumped me like a peed on sofa in an alley!
I'm calling your work and telling them you stole $800 in tires.🪓
💀💀💀
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#AlphabetChallenge #BforBastard #griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Acid bath is what doggie gets for snitching on cat who got into the box of Jack Cheez-It™️ Crackers."
- Griddle The Dog.
#AlphabetChallenge #AForAcid
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Foofy" is her stripper name at the "Cats In The Cradle" Club in Pacoima."
- Griddle The Dog.
#putsomeclotheson #griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Cut it with the evil eye and just give me the menthols and rose water and yeah, I did steal an Almond Joy."
- Griddle The Dog.
#🧿 #griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"I love the very few times when cats don't look like a teen girl meeting "Kailey," the 20 year old new girlfriend of their divorced dad.
Oh wait! That's not here."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogofbluesky
"Shadows"
Shadows reflected on the ground,
laying there dark but me,
only movement never a sound, look at when i have found,
silent but much to see,
some one that gets who i be."
- Michelle Guza.
#griddlethedog #catsofbluesky
"I'll have a Trenta puppy cup. kosher oat cream, extra whipped, TWO milk bones, and only 3 chocolate sprinkles because I can't eat chocolate, but I still want the flavor.
I can tell you won't get it right so you might as well get your manager hon."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"I'm not saying it is? But I'm not saying it isn't."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"His "some issues" are all listed on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders under the "Just Crazy" category."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"This is a new look from a cat. Take a Polaroid because you will never, ever, see this again."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Spent 3 hours listening to the band Foster the People while cleaning one shelf of the refrigerator.
Tomorrow it's back to screaming at her loser surfer boyfriend Caleb for losing the rent.
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"High enough to throw steak knives and jalapeno juice."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"The look he gives getting pats of butter instead of whipped butter for his dinner rolls."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
Frizzazi.
Benjamin Wong.
Hair in my Aoli.
- Griddle The Poet.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Cuts the stove gas line.
waiting
waiting
waiting"
- Griddle The Dog.
#💥 #griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Cats are evil and stroking them encourages their evil thoughts to climb up into your brain. Be wary of combining cat-stroking thinking, for the result can be catastrophic."
- Christine Riccio.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"3rd waitress this week."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Children's Benadryl mixed with Hawaiian Punch makes all of kitty's problems go away."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Cats are prone to Freemasonry. And probably money laundering for the Albanian mob.*"
- Griddle The Dog.
#catsareshifty #griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
*Citation Needed.
"Threw a can of peaches at your head that sent you to the ER."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Plot Twist: They have no cat."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"I'm not the one who put him in box that says SOB."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #iftheshoefits
#blueskydogs
"Yes, because his ancestors also endured the long Arctic winters in a Holiday Inn laundry basket."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Oh oh, my maternal instinct is kicking in. I brunch with the Danes at Musso and I write for Pawsh Magazine, I can't have these mommy feelings."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Wish I had his kind of money. My two dads won't even drive me to Tahiti."
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- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"It wasn't a dog who squealed on Luigi Mangione."
- Griddle The Dog.
#snitchesgetstitches
#griddlethedog
#dogsofbluesky
"Luna is never far from her Baileys or the pool boy in a housecoat."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"Not believing you just downed 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
"The "Mr. Big Katxxx" films put him through college."
- Griddle The Dog.
#griddlethedog #dogsofbluesky
