We had steak with salads for dinner. My youngest finished and wanted the extra steak, but I said only after he had some greens (garden salad). He protested, he already had greens - the mixed herbs I seasoned the steaks with. #kidlulz
Explained to my son the complicated mechanics of determining the date of Easter each year. I shared the reliance on moon cycles and Equinoxes cause they didn’t use specific calendars much. “But they know his birthday for Christmas?” #kidlulz 🧠
At Christmas breakfast my 17 year old son had no cup for the apple juice, so he threatened to have one of my beers. #kidlulz
He chose to hear the bad news first. And the good news, there is no more bad news. #kidlulz
My son & his mate decided to troll the other kids in their food tech class, and deliberately sabotaged their muffins with way too much salt. They got the reaction they were hoping for. #kidlulz
It gets worse, before the AC-DC concert he claimed to know who they are. I asked him for one of their songs, “Led Zeppelin”. #kidlulz
Did l fail with my parenting? Watching Oasis concert footage I asked my youngest if he knew who that was performing, he replied “Elton John?” When I said No, he added “But is Elton John in it?” 🤭 #kidlulz
A two year old boy spots my Pomeranian, on our walk past them at the park. I heard him ask his Dad, “What’s that?”
“A dog” the Dad laughs back in reply. The boy screwed his face up, “No, it’s a cat!” #kidlulz
Surrounded by native wildlife, I joked that the wallabies would be tastier to eat than the smaller and more stocky pademelons. My son disagreed, “But pademelons have ‘Melon’ in their name.” #kidlulz
My 12 year old is smarter than me. I asked if we should put bacon on the HSP we were making. “That wouldn’t be allowed on a ‘HALAL’ Snack Pack, are you trying to make a Haram Snack Pack?” #kidlulz
“I have a question Dad. How did you survive the meteor that killed off all the dinosaurs?” (I think my son is insinuating I’m old.) #kidlulz
“When it’s my birthday, instead of a cake can I get a steak?” #kidlulz
“Don’t ask me, I failed my maths test. Well, maybe it was one test - I really don’t know maths.” #kidlulz
Seconds before it was my turn to speak in the team meeting, my 12 year old son sent me an SMS from his bus “I might be late I gotta poo” #kidlulz
My young son has learned Morse code. I thought there’d be no real world applications these days. But it led to a bit of a stir. A few houses down, their glass window has thin decorations of squares & rectangle shapes. In Morse code it’s apparently emblazoning a neat “KKK” on each window. #kidlulz
My 12 year old in discussing his bus trip to school often mentions “the annoying girl who talks all the time”. Sounds to me like a future wedding speech anecdote. #kidlulz
My 12 year old son said he’d “self disown me” if I voted for Peter Dutton in the upcoming election. #kidlulz
I’m glad my son decided to not act on his theory last night that before turning 12, he had no criminal responsibility so effectively a free pass. #kidlulz
“Oh she’s purring 😊” (My 11 year old half a second before the Pomeranian’s growling turned to erratic biting.) #kidlulz
My son drank a milk drink that had been in the fridge for some time. It hadn’t actually turned bad, but he joked, isn’t it great how vanilla has turned to blueberry. #kidlulz
My 16 year old son was coughing during our call. I mentioned it sounded like asthma, and he said he still has a puffer, and it’s Passionfruit Mango flavour. 😆 #kidlulz
The Furries trend many young kids are beginning to identify with, might be the exact opposite of what our Pomeranian feels. #kidlulz
Kids & technology. 🙄 My 11 year old wanted to know if the light in the car’s glovebox actually turns off when it closes. So he put his phone in while recording, and shut it. The video shows it does switch off. I’ve waited 4 decades to learn this. #kidlulz
“I have to be really careful when I say Venus, to not say Penis”. My 11 year old son sees some struggles with a career in astronomy. #kidlulz
11 year old son and I agreed on our walk, being the moon would be pretty cool. Plenty of songs written about you. Tides follow you. Werewolves worship you. #kidlulz
I set up Touch ID for my 11 year old’s iPad. Should I add a grimey fingerprint, and another one covered in peanut butter for authenticating in real world conditions. #kidlulz
“How quickly do we go through them!?” My 11 year old didn’t take the news well that the world has had a few different Popes since I was a kid. #kidlulz
My kids are so witty. Their mother was caught in the middle of their Nerf gun battle, and threatened to kill them if she was hit. “She can’t kill all of us, she’ll have no way to get things from a high shelf.” #kidlulz
My son complained about the “Sea Croutons” in our stir fry. 😂 In related news, we learned he dislikes Watercress. #kidlulz
Vanilla isn’t even a flavour. [Like White isn’t technically a colour] #kidlulz
