Making a request or giving a directive is setting a boundary (teaching an expectation). You can train kids to cooperate after the first ask.
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Before children will be receptive to your teaching and responsive to your correcting, you must have a good connection - a strong relationship. You do that by meeting the first 3 emotional needs. When you do that, setting and enforcing boundaries becomes much easier.
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Parenting skill #9: Give attention to good behavior.
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Parenting skill #9: Give attention to good behavior.
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We are going to look at the 4th emotional need: Boundaries. But first, there is something I need to tell you.
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These are the 15 parenting skills necessary to meet the 4 Emotional Needs. We have discussed the first 8 skills. Now we will look at the last 7 skills you will use to meet the 4th emotional need, Boundaries.
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Each of your children have 4 emotional needs that must be met. When you meet these needs, good things happen. When you don't... well, that's when struggling happens.
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Acknowledging negative feelings might feel awkward at first, but it's what your child desperately wants and needs to hear. It's how you meet his or her need to feel heard and understood (one of the 4 emotional needs). The more you practice, the better you get.
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Meet your child's need to be heard and understood with Skill #8, Acknowledge Negative Feelings.
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The 3rd emotional need all kids have is to be heard and understood. You meet this need by practicing Skill #8: Acknowledge Negative Feelings.
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Skill #8, Acknowledging Negative Feelings, helps children to release emotional pain instead of bottling it up. It clears and prepares their mind to problem-solve.
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These are the 15 parenting skills you will use to meet the 4 Emotional Needs. Skills 1-7 have been discussed. Skill #8 will be examined in the next few posts.
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All children have 4 emotional needs that must be met. When parents meet those needs, good things happen. When they don't, that's when struggling happens.
The next few posts deal with the 3rd emotional need: To be heard and understood.
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This model teaches parents how to help their children set and achieve goals. The next few posts will add new insights into goal-setting, a very powerful way to meet our children's need for a sense of personal power.
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