DM: “Okay, Ranger, you have the Help action, but it’s obscured, so that means it’s a flat roll.”
Ranger: “Actually, I have advantage because I have blindsight.”
DM: “Oh, you bitch! Fine.”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
Paladin: “We’re going to do our best to keep the bard alive. You have to protect the mascot.”
Bard: “Thanks! Hey, wait a minute!”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
DM: “So, Bard, you’re slowly turning to stone.”
Bard: “That’s what she said!”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
Bard: “Not the face! I know I look delicious, but come on!”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
Bard: “Tank Daddy, it gave me a spanking, and you’re the only one allowed!”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
(“Run a dystopian campaign,” I said. “I hope it won’t be too serious, I said.”)
Wizard: “I’m going to remember I’m a wizard and…take a step back.”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
Cleric: “Hey, at least you’re sticking it in, unlike my character. She’s out of practice.”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
Ranger: “I think I have too much blood anyway.”
#dnd #ttrpg #shitgamerssay
Paladin: “Why did you kill the zombies? They weren’t hurting anyone!”
#dnd #ttrpglife #shitgamerssay
