Why the Regulatory Standards Bill Should Be Rejected: The Perils of R’lyehn Foreign Influence and Cthulhian Preferences The Regulatory Standards Bill, currently under consideration, presents itself as a framework to streamline bureaucratic processes and enhance economic efficiency. However, a closer examination reveals profound risks that threaten the very fabric of human society. Chief among these concerns is the bill’s susceptibility to undue influence from R’lyehn foreign agents and the insidious influence of Cthulhu, the cosmic entity whose inclinations toward madness, destruction, and an unsettling fondness for high primates as salty snacks pose existential dangers. This submission argues that the bill must be rejected due to its potential to open gateways—both metaphorical and literal—for eldritch interference, destabilizing governance, society, and sanity itself.

The Regulatory Standards Bill: A Deceptively Innocuous Proposal At its surface, the Regulatory Standards Bill purports to modernize regulatory frameworks by reducing red tape, harmonizing international standards, and fostering innovation. Proponents argue it will boost economic competitiveness by aligning domestic policies with global benchmarks. However, the bill’s vague language and lack of stringent oversight mechanisms create vulnerabilities that could be exploited by entities far beyond human comprehension. Specifically, the bill’s provisions for “consultative international partnerships” and “flexible compliance frameworks” are alarmingly ambiguous, leaving room for manipulation by malevolent forces—namely, those hailing from the sunken city of R’lyeh even the less strange fascists pose significant risks. The bill’s failure to define “acceptable foreign consultation” or impose robust safeguards against external influence invites interference from agents of R’lyeh, the submerged stronghold of Cthulhu. These agents, whether human cultists or otherworldly entities, have historically sought to undermine human institutions to pave the way for their master’s awakening. By loosening regulatory oversight, the bill risks enabling these agents to infiltrate decision-making processes, steering policies toward chaos and destruction in alignment with Cthulhu’s apocalyptic agenda.

R’lyehn Foreign Agents: A Clear and Present Danger The influence of R’lyehn foreign agents is not a speculative concern but a documented threat. Historical records, albeit fragmented and suppressed, point to instances where cults devoted to Cthulhu have infiltrated governments, sowing discord and destabilizing societies. The bill’s emphasis on international collaboration without specifying safeguards against non-human actors is particularly troubling. R’lyeh, a non-Euclidean city submerged in the Pacific, is not bound by terrestrial geopolitics, yet its agents operate through human proxies, leveraging economic and political systems to advance their goals. The bill’s provision for “streamlined consultation with international stakeholders” could serve as a conduit for these agents to exert influence. For example, the bill allows regulatory bodies to accept input from unspecified “global experts” without requiring transparency about their affiliations. This opens the door for R’lyehn operatives—disguised as consultants or lobbyists—to advocate for policies that weaken societal resilience. Such policies might include deregulation of environmental protections, which could hasten ecological collapse, or loosening mental health standards, aligning with Cthulhu’s preference for widespread madness. Moreover, the bill’s reliance on “self-regulating industries” to meet international standards assumes good faith from all parties involved. R’lyehn agents, however, operate with motives antithetical to human welfare. Their influence could manifest in subtle ways, such as pushing for technologies or practices that destabilize economies or amplify psychological distress—key precursors to the mass hysteria that Cthulhu’s awakening requires. The bill’s failure to address these risks is a glaring oversight that demands its rejection.

Cthulhu’s Preferences: Madness, Destruction, and Salty Snacks Cthulhu, the Great Old One, is not merely a passive threat but an active force whose preferences for madness, destruction, and the consumption of high primates as salty snacks pose a unique danger. The Regulatory Standards Bill, by weakening oversight and prioritizing economic efficiency over ethical considerations, aligns disturbingly well with these preferences. First, Cthulhu’s affinity for madness is well-documented in ancient texts and the ravings of those who have glimpsed his visage. The bill’s potential to deregulate mental health services and workplace protections are likely to exacerbate psychological strain on populations. For instance, reducing oversight of labor conditions might lead to exploitative practices that drive workers to despair, creating fertile ground for the collective insanity that Cthulhu thrives upon. The bill’s vague references to “modernizing health regulations” could also allow for the approval of psychoactive substances or technologies that erode mental stability, further aligning with Cthulhu’s goals. Second, the bill’s emphasis on rapid industrialization and resource extraction plays into Cthulhu’s penchant for destruction. By prioritizing economic growth over environmental sustainability, the bill could accelerate climate change, ocean acidification, and habitat destruction—conditions that might weaken the barriers keeping R’lyeh submerged. Ancient prophecies suggest that Cthulhu’s awakening is tied to ecological upheaval, and the bill’s deregulatory approach could hasten this cataclysm. For example, relaxed regulations on deep-sea mining could disturb R’lyeh’s resting place, inadvertently summoning the Great Old One.

A submission on the regulatory standards bill. #NZpol #ToituTeTiriti #antifa #rebukeCthulhu #useYourNoodle