Here I am 8 years ago at Jake’s apartment to watch RuPaul, only to be confronted by a piping hot waterpizzamelon (marinara, cheese, and pepperoni on a slab of scalding pink fleshy fruit), my beloved meme incarnate. I can be seen taking my first bite of this rare delicacy and expressing a sort of ecstatic pleasure, the kind that kills.

Eight years ago my friends surprised me by baking a waterpizzamelon, after I had spent the better portion of the year incessantly tweeting about my love for this abomination. Never question my commitment to the bit. #filthiestpersonalive #waterpizzamelon