At first no one knows. It's not that Sakura distrusts his friends or feels shame about his relationship... he just isn't ready. Internally, he knows that, yes, he now has a lot of people who care about him, but now on top of that he has someone who cares for him differently (and pretty intensely, even), all in ways he never thought he'd experience or deserve. Even with his time in Makochi, at Furin, learning to trust and growing more into himself and his own emotional state, he still finds himself in a nasty cycle of thoughts: "I can't believe I actually deserve to be loved... by anyone, and if someone finds out they may tell me that I *don't* deserve it after all. And they might be right." And the thought of losing everything he's gained up until this point is honestly the scariest thing he can think of. Even so, he's found out sooner than he wanted, and by accident, at that, when he's deep in sleep and a knock sounds from his front door. Sakura doesn't so much as stir, but Momijikawa does. In retrospect, they both find it a little funny that he didn't think twice about answering the door to *Sakura's* apartment. He's greeted by Nirei's stunned face and Suo's interested expression (and Momijikawa doesn't miss the low, intrigued hum that escapes Suo, but he doesn't acknowledge it). He's peripherally aquainted with Sakura's vice captains, but can't say he's really on the level of friends with them, so his greeting is formal-- polite, but detached. "We thought we'd walk to school with Sakura-san this morning, but..." Nirei trails off, trying to be inconspicuous as he glances around Momijikawa into Sakura's apartment. Not that he'd see much with the small, very humble kitchen blocking the rest of the unit.
"It seems he already has company," Suo finishes for Nirei. Momijikawa finds that curious smile a little irritating this early in the morning, but waves his hand dismissively, saying, "It's fine. I'll get him." And disappears around the corner, leaving the front door open. Nirei glances at Suo questioningly ("does he want us to follow?) and Suo shrugs, staying put. Momijikawa crouches beside the lump under the blanket that is Sakura, pulling it down enough to reveal the top of his head, and Momijikawa places a small peck on his hair with a fond smile. The lump stirs slightly. Momijikawa tugs a bit more of the blanket down, and Sakura grumbles as streaks of sunlight hit his face. "Your vice captains are here," Momijikawa says, settling down on the futon cross-legged and poking Sakura's shoulder lightly. At that, Sakura jolts up, wide awake. He looks at Momijikawa in panic, and while Momijikawa knows that Sakura has wanted to keep things under wraps for the time being, he doesn't fully see what the issue is here. They're his friends, surely they won't care or judge, if that's what he's concerned about. Momijikawa observes Sakura's self-made chaos as he darts around the room-- pulling on pieces of his school uniform in a hurry, face flushed, brow furrowed, and mouth drawn in a tight line-- and sighs to himself. He'd intended to at least make breakfast before they left for the day, but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen now. While Sakura rushes to the still-open front door, Momijikawa gathers up his own uniform and heads for the bathroom. Sakura steps out and slams the door shut behind him, face still burning red. "It's nothing. It's not-- He's just--" he tries to start, but Suo places a hand on his shoulder, and Nirei holds up his hands placatingly.
"Sakura-san, it's okay! It's not a big deal, I promise!" and Suo follows up with, "So how long has this been going on?" And Sakura maybe wants to die on the spot, just a little. "Three months," he mumbles. A look passes over Nirei's face that seems a little like hurt. "Why didn't you say anything?" Sakura rubs his forehead, eyes pinched shut, and mumbles, "I wasn't ready yet." He's still not sure he's ready, and there's a vocal part of him chastising, saying there's no reason to feel this way in the first place. He knows they won't say anything to hurt him, he knows they won't be anything but supportive and the great friends that they are, but another part of him forcibly tells him he needs to keep this stuff personal, private. Just for him and Momijikawa. Sakura's not entirely sure if that's a territorial jealousy talking, or panic that ties back to a loveless upbringing, like so much of his damage is. Hell, maybe it's both and they spring from the same source, regardless. Either way, rationally, he's aware that it's very stupid and baseless, and he trusts the two boys standing before and beside him. "I'm sorry..." He adds, lamely. Nirei, for his own part, seems to have recovered from the upset of being left in the dark, and laughs lightly. "It'll be fine. We won't say anything if you don't want us to." Sakura inhales heavily for a moment, and the front door squeaks open with Momijikawa stepping out. He tugs his own school bag over his shoulder and holds another out toward Sakura.
Sakura takes his bag and exhales, equally heavily, and murmurs, "No, it-- it's okay." The flush on his face flares back up as he reaches for Momijikawa's hand and holds it tightly. While he doesn't experience embarrassment like Sakura does, having two sets of eyes on them in this particular moment makes Momijikawa feel a little more perceived than he's comfortable with, so he averts his own gaze and tugs Sakura forward toward the stairs. "Let's just go, then." And, miraculously, the world doesn't end.
... i wrote a vignette
i haven't written i literal years. that's how serious this is.
#windbreaker #fanfic #fanfiction #windbreakerfanfic #momisaku #sakuraharuka #momijikawasakae
