She started wearing a #jade pendant, “to harness the power of nature.”
Soon she was stronger, more vital. But the trees & plants withered.
So she swapped it for turquoise. The trees recovered, but the sea darkened.
I hid her diamonds.
The stars twinkled their thanks. #vss365
“I heard there’s a shark-viewing #undersea restaurant on the resort,” I said.
“There is,” the manager replied. “But…”
“Table for 2!” I cut in.
We’re led into a glass dome. Beyond it, dozens of sharks. Seated at tables.
One points a fin at me. The waiter nods & heads towards me… #vss365
“Back in our day, there was none of this contouring & filter #trickery. Everyone was unique. Authentic. Real. Oh, to go back…” she sighed.
Now she can only hope this world of acne, bullying & terrible denim is a nightmare, and she hasn’t just woken up in 1990… #vss365
I’m honoured to have been invited to a local book club that have read my book.
“Welcome,” they say & hand me a robe. Candles flicker.
“Just a little #investiture ceremony to make you an elite member.”
They surround me, knives aloft.
I guess they didn’t like the book... #vss365
He ordered the #seafoam dish to impress her. Only 12 hours to go until her legs would turn back into a tail.
“Locally sourced.”
The mermaid watched, spellbound, as the bubbles faded.
“That’s how it looks,” she said softly, “when they finally go under… Fancy a swim after this?” #vss365
🤣 thanks!
“This is the life, eh Carol?” said her neighbour, Tony.
Ex Sup’t Carol frowned. “I’d rather still be working.”
“I don’t miss it,” Tony laughed. “Took a #hammer to my work laptop the day I retired.”
“That’s an offence under the Criminal Damage Act 1971…” Carol muttered. #vss365
🤣🤣🦩
They think they’re so clever at conferences, shoehorning a random #word into all their presentations for a laugh.
They’ll regret today’s choice of word here, though. Local lore says mentioning it 4 times in 1 day summons The Flamingo.
3 so far…
And 4.
Here it comes… #vss365
Thank you!
Maybe it was my British-ness that led me to join the queue.
“Sorry, are you in the queue?”
“Sorry, yes,” said the man in front.
I’m not even sure what it’s for but I’m not losing my place now.
The playlist has completed a #loop & started again.
We keep calm & carry on. And on. #vss365
😁👏👏👏
"We get all dese #letters, but none of dem are soddin fan mail! Where's da legion of fans waitin on ma every wurd! Where's da fan art dat swerves from cute ta 18 fukin rated!" Riz complained.
"Some of these bills are addressed to you."
"Fan-fukin-tastic."
#vss365 #riztherogue
Eeek! Did not expect that ending. 👏👏👏👏
Evelyn was known as a woman of #letters. Every day, she sat in front of her garden window, lilac scented paper in hand.
She had a lovely long quill and stamp her niece gave her.
It was such a delight to write her poison pen notes with them. #vss365
I find a stash of #letters in the attic from my childhood self. “Open when you’re grown up,” the envelopes say.
They ask what advice I’d give my younger self.
I answer every question.
When I look up, I’m in a room I don’t recognise.
“Mum?” says a boy who isn’t my son. #vss365
Thank you! 💖
“I’ll risk it,” Dave said, dropping the eggs into a pan of boiling #water. “I’m sure they won’t kill me.”
The eggs cracked open & the witches climbed out.
“You’re wrong,” they chanted, pushing him in. He sank to the bottom.
“…But nice & fresh.”
#vss365
🤣🤣
Dave dropped the eggs into the water.
“Which way round is it again?” he said. “If they #sink, they’re fresh?”
“Yep,” said Sean. “And if they float, they’re witches.”
“No, I think it just means they’re old.”
The eggs floated to the surface, cackling.
“Who’re you calling old?” #vss365
He hated musicals, so his colleagues thought it’d be hilarious to #sing everything they said & dance every step they took for a day.
“It’s your worst nightmare,” sang his boss.
By 6pm, it was theirs too. They couldn’t stop.
He waved on his way out the door.
“Encore,” he whispered. #vss365
They reeled down the alley, clinging to each other, all giggles & gin. The #blind leading the blind.
“Easy pickings,” he whispered, falling into step behind them.
They heard him coming.
And stopped pretending.
“Easy pickings,” they giggled, knives ready. #vss365
🤣🤣🤣
Ah, yes I think about this too. 💖
He’d been gone 15 years. As she tapped her phone to pay, she chuckled.
She took him to the #bank when ATMs came out and showed him how to get cash. Then she realized how much he enjoyed speaking with the tellers.
What would he make of today’s touchless society? #vss365
💖🥳
Today, on my 67th birthday, I dip into the gratitude #bank and withdraw a thanks for the joy I receive being part of the #vss365 community of writers.
Thank you! 💖
Still feeling the pinch of losing an hour? Roll on October & you’ll get it back!
How will you spend yours?
My mum #banks hers til the evening, savouring it over a glass of wine.
My sister lives in the moment: an extra hour in the club.
Me? I’m already in overdraft... #vss365
Bec sent Dave to HR for his inappropriate tattoo.
“It’s a Rorschach #ink blot,” he said. “If you see something rude, it says more about you than me.”
HR’s report said, “Bird tattoos are fine.”
Bec laughed. Bird? As if!
Also… what was with all the flying ****s in the sky today? #vss365