You know what I miss? 2020. Compared to the last few months I’d take a do-over of COVID in a heartbeat.

So apparently IKEA is now crucifying their children’s toys.

My 12F to my 14M:
“You should taste spiciness. In your eyeballs.”
#thingsmykidssay

I miss the relationship I could have had with my mom if she wasn’t…herself.

Donate to We Will Never Forget J.J. Valentine, organized by Randy Jordan On Sunday, April 13, the world lost a great man -- J.J. Valentine. The scope of J… Randy Jordan needs your support for We Will Never Forget J.J. Valentine

Last week the Frogpants community lost a pillar of the community; JJ Valentine aka Caoboi. He was such a bright light and kind soul. A GoFundMe was set up to help his wife, Renee, and children. Rest in peace JJ. We love you.
www.gofundme.com/f/we-will-ne...

I rate this prostate infection 0/10. Do not recommend.

Just sitting here. Totally fucking terrified and can’t do a god damned thing about it. I’m jealous of cartoon characters because they don’t have to live in this reality. Time to get stoned off my ass.

Randall, this is one of the most brilliant things I’ve ever seen.

Tariffs xkcd.com/3073

What if it’s positive yelling? WE LOVE YOU HANK!!

Huh. I wasn’t planning to go to Costco today but maybe now I will.

If Walgreens could figure out how to fill prescriptions that would be really cool. I have to use them because of insurance but I end up having to call or go in every time I need a refill because SOMETHING always goes wrong.

Yeah I miss the days when politics was boring.

Dear publishers, why do I have to resort to Amazon to figure it IF a book is part of a series and which book in the series it is? Make it obvious on the cover or the spine.
Signed,
A small bookshop owner

Just saw this at my local grocery store. I’m concerned for my favorite muppet. #muppets
#swedishchef
#arethemuppetsok

Couldn’t care less about the Super Bowl this year but just had to look up the score. 0-34 at the end of the 3rd quarter?! Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I know what this means…but for a second I was really concerned that the Red Cross was taking people hostage.

trans people are always welcome in my space

your existence is not a threat to anything but the frail social constructs that restrain self expression and self love

It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.

Been thinking about this quote a lot the last 2 days.

I say this as a huge fan of the stage musical…it was waaay too long. Part 1 is almost as long as the entirety of the broadway version. The acting and singing was great but they really dragged out some scenes. Pacing felt awful to me. I did enjoy it, but it needed some editing.

A reminder Monday that there will be an avalanche of executive orders.

Mass deportations will start.

Meanwhile, the House and Senate will try to ram through a bunch of bad bills.

Do not get lost in a sea of despair.

That is what they want.

Prepare yourselves now.

What Kim doesn’t realize is that I only PRETEND to get tired driving. I’ve secretly turned her into my chauffeur.

I can tolerate that one. I get irrationally angry at Feliz Navidad. That song drives me absolutely insane with how repetitive it is.

What? No. Hot Frosty is Ted the veterinarian. He dated Alexis for a while in the show. David married Patrick.

I threw my back out on Sunday afternoon standing up from my couch. Someone please kill me.

My wife has her first pop up sale tonight for her business she’s starting up. The tent that was supposed to arrive on Wednesday is now supposedly getting here an hour before the event starts. Somehow this will all come together and tonight will be great. Wish us luck!