In lieu of jet, Ford to be carried on litter followed by rose petal–scattering virgins - The Empty Press TORONTO — After weeks of controversy, Ontario Premier Rob Ford has scrapped plans to travel via a $30 million private jet, opting instead for the more cost-effective solution of being carried on a pli...

“It is clear that the people are displeased, and, thus, we must abide”

#DougFord #ONPoli

Toronto Sun

Well, it looks like little Stevie's pulling on Olivia's pigtails, again.

#adorable

#SteveSimmons #TorontoSun #ONPoli

"Just think of that extra 8 hours as another workday you can spend downtown" - Tim Houston

@evilpez4.bsky.social

Houston promises to cancel budget cuts if Doug Ford tells him to - The Empty Press HALIFAX – In the face of opposition over sweeping budget cuts recently announced by his government, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston has said that he’ll cancel them if instructed to by Ontario Premier ...

We got you covered:

The Humboldt driver suffered more severe consequences than all of the gun dealers, police officers and politicians, who enabled the Portapique massacre, combined.

#JusticeIsNotBlind

#Portapique #NovaScotia #Canada #NSPolI #CDNPoli

Hey Sharon Osbourne,

When you're at the "Unite The Kingdom" rally, maybe ask the other attendees how they feel about Jews. You might find it enlightening.

#FoodForThought

#SharonOsbourne #TommyRobinson #UnitedKingdom #UKPoli

Matthew 25:40

Ima get medieval on your ass

#Iran #Hegeseth

We’re also sad that we’re probably just being naive.

#Canada #VictoriaCross #CDNPoli

What is the Canadian Victoria Cross — the medal that no one has ever received? The Canadian Victoria Cross is Canada’s highest military honour. It was created more than 30 years ago, but has yet to be awarded to anyone.

Considering the circumstances one must be in to receive it, we're grateful that none of our soldiers have been awarded the medal.

#Canada #VictoriaCross #CDNPoli

$30m an hour: big oil reaping huge war windfall from consumers, analysis finds Exclusive: Climate action blockers including Saudi Arabia, Russia and major fossil fuel firms set to make extra $234bn by end of 2026

Well, at least someone isn't experience a gas price crisis.

#Iran #Oil #Climate

When we're counting on Pakistan to be the catalyst for political and economic stability, we've really lost the plot.

#Iran #Pakistan

"I hate having visitors but, if I didn't, I'd never clean my home"

#overheard

PEI Finance Minister says new budget "Made in Nova Scotia!" - The Empty Press CHARLOTTETOWN – PEI Finance Minister Jill Burridge has proudly proclaimed the province’s upcoming budget plans to be “Made In Nova Scotia”. Speaking with reporters gathered outside the legislature, Bu...

"It's often said that travelling to PEI is like travelling back in time, and we're trying to live up to that standard by copying everything Tim Houston did a few weeks ago!"

#PEI #NovaScotia #PEIPoli #NSPoli

Kim Ju Ae orders execution of field hockey rival - The Empty Press SEOUL – According to reports from South Korean intelligence officials, Kim Ju Ae, the daughter of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, has ordered the execution of a rival field hockey player. According...

Their remains are to be fed to The Respected Daughter’s stable of axolotls.

#NorthKorea

So, it looks like we're still waiting for them to realise that Iran isn't Iraq.

#Iran

Some fun facts about Aubrey Plaza:

1. She was born in Wilmington, Delaware in 1984.

2. She was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance in "The White Lotus"

3. She's a grown woman who can do as she goddamned pleases.

4. She's named after 1972 soft-rock song "Aubrey" by the band Bread.

twitter

And switching to green energy would save consumers the litre.

#Poilievre #CDNPoli #Climate

https://www.vergemagazine.com/travel-intelligence/why-we-travel/276-avi-lewis-taking-care-of-business.html

https://ticketscene.ca/artists/james_duthie/

…And a laid back James Duthie?

#TSNDP #TheGuyOnThePoliticalLeft

@ndp.ca @tsnofficial.bsky.social @avilewis.ca

https://www.vergemagazine.com/travel-intelligence/why-we-travel/276-avi-lewis-taking-care-of-business.html

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/tim_robinson_5

Are we the only ones who think that Avi Lewis kind of looks like a fancy Tim Robinson?

#IThinkYouShouldLead #TheChairParty

@ndp.ca @avilewis.ca #AviLewis #TimRobinson

twitter

"They're hockey guys" - Frank Seravalli

#TexasHockey #DallasStars #NHL #Hockey

"My screen is so dirty all of the people look like Buffy-vampires"

#overheard

HISTORY! Stephen A. Smith and Bill Maher talk politics in world's first ever masturbation 69.

#BillMaher #StephenASmith

Scientists confirm that everything you hate is AI - The Empty Press OTTAWA – New research has confirmed what many in the modern world have suspected: Everything you hate was AI generated. The study, conducted by Dr. Andrea Alan at the National Research Council, analyz...

This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional obnoxiousness.

#AI #ChatGPT #LLM #MachineLearning #ProgrammerHumour #ProgrammerHumor #Software #Coding #Programming #satire

Society of Ornithologists condemns Nelly Furtado for defaming Avians - The Empty Press OTTAWA – Officials at the Royal Institute of Ornithology are condemning Canadian songstress Nelly Furtado’s signature song “I’m Like a Bird”, for lyrics that they perceive as depicting the feathered a...

We're not too proud to piggyback off of someone else's success.

#Junos2026 #NellyFurtado

"How can I honour a legendary artist while still making it all about myself?"

#DrakeProblems #Junos2026 #NellyFurtado

"I asked ChatGPT to explain 'Memento', and I still don't get it"

#Overheard

New rule: Only name things after, and build statues of, Women of Colour

#CesarChavez

Apparently, the constitution is sacred to the province that refused to ratify it.

#Bill21 #PolQC #Canada #Quebec #CDNPoli #PolQC

Poilievre

We'd like to know how Tim Uppal, Amanpreet Gill, Jasraj Hallan and Jagsharan Mahal feel about Pierre Poilievre advocating for the Order of Canada to be bestowed upon a man who used his platform to support the Royal Canadian Legion's turban ban.

#DonCherry #OrderOfCanada #CDNPoli #Poilievre

"When visiting the lavatories, it is customary for men to give a sympathetic nod to the ladies waiting in line".

#Metiquette #TheMet @metmuseum.org