Raiders last Home Game

USC Friday Night Lights

“Y’ALL HAD 9 MONTHS TO FIX THAT AC:
BUT Y’ALL CHOSE CRAB LEGS…
NOW LOOK WHO BOILIN” 😭🔥💦 1. #ACStoodNoChance
#BoilinForCrablegs
#SeafoodOverCentralAir
#SweatinAndRegrettin
#HotterThanTheBoilPot
#ShrimpsOverComfort
#CrabLegsOrBust
#YallChoseTheSteamLife

“Buying groceries with no food stamps
should boost yo credit score.”Here you go:
#BuyingGroceriesWithNoStamps
#GetToastedAndLaugh
#AdultingHard
#CreditScoreShouldJump
#BrokeButTrying
#SwipePrayRepeat
#LaughThroughTheStruggle

When you're so behind on your bills, that the power company comes and blows out your candles like "bitch we said no lights!"
#LightsOutForReal
#CandleEviction
#BillCollectorSavage
#PowerCompanyPetty
#NoLightsNoMercy
#DebtGotMeInTheDark
#EvenMyCandlesGotCutOff

Imagine reading a book with no way to turn back the page…
How carefully would you read it?
That’s life no rewinds, just lessons.
#LiveIntentionally #NoDoOvers #MindfulLiving #LifeIsPrecious #OneShotAtLife #ReadCarefully #MakeItCount #LifeWisdom

If I wrote a book called “How to Fail” and it didn’t sell a single copy… that’s a bestseller in reverse! Mission *un-*accomplished exactly as planned! 💀📉
#HowToFail
#FailingWithStyle
#BestsellerInReverse
#UnintentionalSuccess
#EpicFailWin
#FlopGoals
#MasterOfFailure
#FailureExpert

“A baby can drink a bottle and fall asleep and it's called cute but soon as l do it, I'm called a drunk”🤦🏾‍♂️😂😂😂
#DoubleStandards
#AdultingIsHard
#LetMeNapToo
#BottleServiceGoneWrong
#WhyCantIBeCute
#DrunkButAdorable
#NapGoals
#IGotMilkToo

“ICE raids in SoCal got more episodes than Law & Order. They out here throwing flashbangs at onlookers like, “Don’t look at us in English or Spanish!”🤦🏾‍♂️
#ICEOrCallOfDuty
#RaidsAndRacism
#FlashbangFriday
#DeportationDrama
#SoCalSurvivalGuide

Trump and Elon broke up 💔 apparently, Elon wanted space… and Trump wanted a new planet to ban immigrants from. Now they’re subtweeting each other like exes who shared a Twitter password. 🚀🇺🇸 #MAGAAndMars #ToxicBillionaires #TwitterBreakup #RedHatsAndRedFlags #ElonBlockedMe

🚨BreakingNews:🚨
When ICE officers accidentally lock themselves in a shipping container full of people they’re trying to deport: 😳🚢 “So… anyone got the key, or nah?” 🔑😅 #InstantKarma #LockedUpAbroad #ReverseUnoCard #ContainerChronicles #IceIceBaby

“Some of y’all don’t wanna know the answer, you just like hearin’ yourself interrogate.
‘Where you goin?’
‘Who wit you?’
‘What time you leave?’
‘Why your left sock higher than the right?’
Damn, Detective! I’m just goin’ to get tacos. 💀
#ImNotOnTrial #QuestionnaireEnergy #LetMeBreathe

Stages of listening to a slow talker”
👂🏾 Interested
😐 Concerned
😩 Aging
🧓🏾 Ready for retirement
#AintNoIntermission #SpeedItUpCousin #BlackTikTokTiming

“When they walk in your job at 4:59 with paperwork thicker than a Sunday sermon 🙄”
#TheAudacity #CloseAt5NotStartAt5 #OfficePTSD

“Y’all remember manners?
Cuz coughing without covering your mouth in 2025 is a hate crime.” 🫤🤥🙄
#TheAudacity #AirborneAndAin’tSorry #WeStillInAPandemonium

🗣️ “I said ONE RIB!”
Me trying to stretch $7 ’til payday: “Lemme get one wing… no sauce… just vibes.”😂
#BrokeMenuTalk #InflationIsGhetto #OneRibEnergy

“I’m not gonna call him Dad… even if there’s a fire.”
“Me refusing to call my manager “sir” just because he wears a blazer.
#StepBrothersEnergy #CorporateStepChild

📞 Me calling HR on a Wednesday:
“Hi yes, is it legal to work three days in a row without a nap, a margarita, or emotional support?”
#HumpDayHysteria
#OfficeSurvivor
#MidweekMeltdown
#HRPleaseHold
#WorkweekWoes
#EmotionalSupportNeeded

“if they don't let me merge, i'm merging regardless. We can both get new cars”🤬😂💯
#MergeOrCrash
#WeBothGettingNewWhips
#InsuranceGonHateMe
#MyTurnSignalWasManifesting
#NoYieldJustDrive

“Do crabs have thighs? Cause I'm tired of the legs... I need the big meat!!” 😂😂
#WhereTheThighMeatAt
#CrabLegsAintEnough
#ThickCutSeafood
#ShellfishStruggles
#ClawsOutForThatMeat
#CrustaceanCravings

“I DIDNT FART MY ASS BLEW YOU A KISS”😘 💋
#SilentButFlirty
#LoveStinks
#KissMyGas
#BootyBlownAffection
#FlatulenceWithFeeling
#CupidGotIBS

One Day Ima Risk It All & Ask My Mama Who Tf She Think Dhe Talkin To😳🙄🤣#PrayForMeIfIDo
#RespectfullyDisrespectful
#MamaGotThemHands
#ICantComeToThePhone
#LastDayOnEarthVibes
#IDiedForAsking

Idk WHO needs to hear this, but u can NOT beat the arrival time on your GPS 😩 #GPSDontLie
#YouNotFasterThanSatellites
#ChillLeadfoot
#ETAIsNotAChallenge
#GoogleMapsWinsAgain
#StopTryingToRaceAI

“Does anyone ever get bored and turn on Netflix, and decide you're not ready for that kind of
commitment. And then grab your phone and watch reels for
the next 4 hours.” #NetflixCommitmentIssues
#JustOneReelIGuess
#4HoursLater
#TooTiredToChoose
#ScrollingIsLife
#BingeWithoutPlot

Maturing is realizing you don’t need fun to have alcohol… sometimes you just need a long week, a broken printer, and a stare into the void.
#GrownUpSips
#WineWithNoOccasion
#VodkaAndVibes
#NotDrunkJustDisappointed
#CheersToStress
#AdulthoodPouredNeat

“If Swearing is considered adult language, why is it called childish behaviour, stay with me now.”
#MakeItMakeSense
#AdultLanguageChildishBehavior
#SwearLikeAGrownUp
#StayWithMeNow
#Logic404
#CussConfusion

We’re not flakey we’re just exhausted, overbooked, and slightly emotionally unavailable.
#TooTiredToTextBack #FriendshipInYour30s #PlansPendingSince2019

#AdultingStruggles
#MargaritaTherapy
#NetflixAndRegret
#SleepLikeAnAdult
#ExistentialInsomnia
#RelatableHumor
#ModernLifeCrisis

I asked my friend to spell “orange.” He said, “The fruit or the color?” I damn near passed out. Then he said, “Is that not a valid question?”🤦🏾‍♂️ 😂
#SpellingTrauma #OrangeCrisis #FruitOrColorChooseYourFighter

“Unless your kid is selling Don Julio get that fundraiser book out my face”
#NoMoreFundraisers
#IOnlyDonateToTequila
#KeepYourCookieDough
#UnlessItsDonJulioDontAsk