At a crowded bar. Saw two people with quite intense, tight-lipped expressions sitting near each other, staring into their phones. Suddenly one guy goes “Checkmate!” And the other guy goes “Fahck!” Boston’s hilarious 😂
They never showed the ham because… it was never about the ham. #severance
I guess that’s a good sign, if so few people are shopping there now that *they still have eggs.*
I’d forgo the Veuve Clicquot in favor of eggs to celebrate getting the promotion, but the only eggs left in town are at Target now and fuck those guys.
One time I will write “Who purposefully brings a sharpie into a toilet stall?” for my inaugural bathroom graffiti. Until then, all I’ve gotta say is: fuck yes. 💪
How long do fortune cookies fortunes last? Until the next cookie? Or forever?
Surely I can’t be the only one untangling a skein of yarn at the bar after playing pinball at 10:30pm on a Tuesday, right?
In Kendall Square. As far as corporate swag goes, blue puffer jackets are the new Patagonia dirty snow-colored knit zip-ups.
Why do fake bonsais exist? Fake snake plant? Sure. Fake fiddle leaf fig? Ehh. But bonsais? Whose idea was this?
Fuck your star chart, tell me your MyChart.
I want to kiss you the way a comet kisses the atmosphere.
NYE omen just dropped: I saw someone get out of a car with numbered balloons. She made it out with a 2, 0, and 5, but the wind picked up and the second 2 blew away.
There’s this guy across me on the T who looks like he tried to dress punk but ended up looking like Zoolander. He’s taking up 2 other seats with a backpack and duffle bag, and he just put a banana peel on the one next to him.
*4* seats.
If this was NYC, he’d be getting his ass whooped by now.
Petting all the yarn at Michael’s is like petting an emotional support animal. 🥹
Microplastics be damned. I’m letting these snowflakes melt onto my tongue bc your planet only dies once, amirite?
If you can't handle me at my first half of Dance Yrself Clean, then you don't deserve me at my second half of Dance Yrself Clean.
I wonder if Nils Frahm ever leaves reviews for toilet brushes.
Is there a word for when you’re sitting in the tub with the shower head on? Not quite a bath, not quite a shower…
Surely there’s a word for it in German.
Still not seeing any “2025 will be *my* year!” posts.
Welp. If no one’s taking 2025, guess *I’ll* take it. Sorry y’all, 2025 is mine now.
Just saw someone drop an AirPod into a wet footprint on the pizzeria floor and put it right back in their ear. They def don’t need a COVID booster.
I’ve always thought saying “next year is so 👏 my 👏 year!” was a little cheesy and annoying.
But now that I haven’t been hearing *anyone* say it… I’m feeling pretty bummed out, man.
Organized my ❤️d Ravelry patterns and pared them down from 1,036 to 706. Funny how tastes change over the years.
Stood for a good 5sec at the turnstile wondering why it wouldn’t budge. Then I realized I didn’t scan my Charlie Card.
The sun has not yet risen, and we’re once again off to a great start.
I’m both bc that’s the dialectic, baby 👉😎👉
Probably the defining moment in Kraftwerk’s career was when they changed their name to Kraftwerk (from Uncle Horst and his Bratwurst Boys) and swapped their lederhosen and trombones for sharp suits and synthesisers
Aw hell yeah.
“We cannot continue to participate in the social network feed of a man who proclaims the death of the media and therefore of journalists.” — @majasever.bsky.social. www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/media/e...
It has been a year of wearily putting one word in front of the other. I needed to hear this.
