Thanks for coming to the show - much appreciated.

No idea why my brain keeps forming words made out of 4 x 4 letter grids.

The mind boggles. #LunchPun

The book about my favourite half of a magical double act is a best-Teller. #LunchPun

The U2 themed Monopoly board failed to sell as the streets have no name. #LunchPun

Before I could buy shares in the undergarments factory,
I had to declare any vested interests. #LunchPun

When I want to swap my stickers, I call a tradesperson. #LunchPun

What time of day did Jesus ascend to Heaven? Son rise. #LunchPun

I love that picture of the Scotsmen in agreement. The ayes seem to follow you around the room.

#LunchPun

I’ll certainly know if I see anyone using the stolen flags from my store.

They won’t get a wave with it. #LunchPun

Jokes and Puns from a Groan Up - my second jokebook, now available on Amazon.

Pleased to announce the launch of my second Jokebook - "Jokes and Puns from a Groan Up".

Available on Amazon Paperback for £8 as of 9 February which is #UKPunDay. Available to pre-order on Kindle for £5 as of now. See my author page below.

www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Stevi...

When I told my Parents I wanted to leave School to experiment with raspberry ice cream,
I created quite a ripple. #LunchPun

My song about a hollowed-out insect has just won an MTB award.

#LunchPun

I want to perform a Human League song, but I don’t want to sing it by myself.
Would the audience be Oakey to join in? #LunchPun

When the client hired me to design a marathon course and pit them against elite athletes,
I soon gave him a run for his money… #LunchPun

At the Snitches Convention, it is forbidden to walk on “the grass”.

#LunchPun

Special offer when you purchase my hive.

Buy one, get one bee. #LunchPun

Kylie was unhappy when I cooked her a rice dish.

There were tears on my pilau. #LunchPun

Wrote the joke for a competition at a crab museum which was being judged by Harry Hill, but this one didn't win! At least it made you go "wow" though, so all was not lost ;-)

Which part of the Crab can be used as gravy?

The Oxo-skeleton. #LunchPun

We asked 100 Pirate’s what disease they get if they don’t have enough Vitamin C,
and our scurvey says… #LunchPun

Kids got a break from school as the teachers had to instruct some spiders and bugs.

It was insect training day. #LunchPun

Ladies and Gents visiting the bathroom were asked to remove a wooden block from a pile.

The toilets were jenga neutral. #LunchPun

Can anyone help me find my shampoo?

It seems to have disappeared into thin hair… #LunchPun

Big fan of Tim Peake. He seems really down to earth. #LunchPun

Leave the ex-weightwatcher alone. He has enough on his plate. #LunchPun

5 Comedians do Comedy & Karaoke | Leicester Comedy Festival

5 COMEDIANS DO COMEDY & KARAOKE (7pm for 1hr)

I', be entertaining on this show @ King Richard III Pub as part of Leicester Comedy Festival in February on 7th, 14th, 20th & 21st. Performing a different set of music jokes each day

Tickets £6 - more info:
events.comedy-festival.co.uk/.../5-comedi...

The animals I use for experiments have been drawing sketches of their favourite dog.

It was a lab rat doodle. #LunchPun

UK Pun Off Leicester Sunday 8 February Live show at Leicester Comedy Festival. Link to tickets in the main text.

I will be hosting the UK Pun Off as part of Leicester Comedy Festival on Sunday 8 February (4pm) at King Richard III Pub.

Roger Swift, Charly Meehan, Noel James & Iain MacDonald- Comedian will be competing.

Tickets £8.50 or donations on the door.
events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/uk-pu...

I’m able to chuck most of the Hobbits quite far, but one of them is harder to Frodo. #LunchPun

The Carry on Men challenged the Ladies to a tug of phwoarrrrr.

#LunchPun