Eat Chips and Talk Shit

open.spotify.com/track/2jP2m0... can't stop listening to this jam

I paid $1 to get my soulmate drawing and it's a stupid fucking white boy 😭

It's Epstein Files Eve!

I had a wonderful birthday ❤️ #gratefulheart #40s #goldengirl #fyp TikTok video by Mel

Thanks for all the bday wishes! www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8U7y6LV/

Hope you had a great one! ❤️

Xoxox 😘❤️

Nothing signifies 2025 more than a dumpster fire and even hallmark knows it! HAPPY HOLIDAYS

If I have to make a log in on your website to apply to a job, I'm not. Same with any site using workday.com ya'll are missing a huge amount of applicants cause ain't nobody got time for yo shit!

"We insist on bringing the best casserole to a gun fight" is the Democratic motto

This is the only time I can introduce myself to new people "I'm Melissa, like the hurricane"

I've had a surgery scheduled for the end of this year since May, today they call me and tell me the hospital doesn't take my insurance anymore so all the appts are canceled. LOL AWESOME THX #aetna #americanhealthcare

I stand corrected, it is being called: 2 civil 2 war

CIVIL WAR 2: electric boogaloo

Going thru bullshit on my phone and I stumble upon this gem:

I'm just over here farting my way into your hearts ❤️

This is my first dictatorship. I guess I need to ask my mom what it's like.

Song for Mel

open.spotify.com/track/3CviSq...

LOL that was all Temu deliveries

'Twas the night before 9-11

I LOVE HIM!

#wisconsin

#chicago

Thanks Dad! I'm in Chicago! 🌭

❤️

"My ex and I broke up because I'm a Sagittarius and he was ugly."

Being attracted to men is my biggest character flaw

There's never a roster but always a line 😘

a man in a suit is holding a yellow bucket of popcorn ALT: a man in a suit is holding a yellow bucket of popcorn

TikTok Lady: "ok so twice a year I pay 2 witches to put a curse on my baby daddy..."
Me:

The downside to leaving Vegas is not being able to gamble at every shitty bar😭