Really, CNN?
AI GENERATED FAKE IMAGE?!
As if anyone could possibly look at this and think it was a REAL pic of "Jesus Trump Superstar"?
Oh.
Right.
MAGA.
Never mind. Carry on.
ME: "I could go for some fish and tits."
HER: "Chips."
ME: "What?"
HER: "It's chips; fish and chips, not fish and tits."
ME:
HER:
ME: "Oh.... ... ... I may or may not have made reservations at the wrong type of restaurant."
#TacoTuesday
#TittyTuesday
#TackyTuesday
Okay, Mickey D's, I don't know what the fuck this is; but after the night I had, I can't be seeing this today.
My sense of reality is fragile on the best of days.
I mean, #WTF?!
Nite. See you on #TacoTuesday.
... Or is it #TittyTuesday?
#TackyTuesday seems about right.
Everything started going to hell when they convinced us that self-serve gas was good for us back in the '70s.
#MondayVibes
#Monday
What do you call this?
"Antichrist on a cracker."
Sorry, not sorry.
Did I overdo it on #SaturdayNight?
Well, I slept for about 14 hours, so you tell m-- Look, don't judge.
...
...
It's certainly not making #Sunday any fun so far, that I can tell you.
All work and no play makes Joe a murderous psychopath terrorizing the town as if a serial ki-- DULL BOY! Makes Joe a dull boy!
...
...
...
Dammit.
Really? You have THAT many friends who are THAT inquisitive?
I'm starting to think you're lying about "asking for a friend."
* #SaturdayMorning thoughts.
Oh, it's gonna be THAT kind of #Friday:
Wow, there are a lot more people than I expected at this Monkey-Fuckers Anonymous meeting.
The naked woman in the banana hat is different.
My wife is a good person I'm sure has secured her place in Heaven.
Me?
The Devil is keeping my seat warm.
So sorry; not fun. Heal up soon.
My wife and I just got back from the Full Frame documentary film festival; had a blast.
So many creative filmmakers out there.
#WTF?
Sleep?
What is this "sleep" of which you speak?
#insomnia
ABSURDISM 101™ (#April15th #TaxDay edition):
The monkey wanted to pick the fleas out of his ass, but fear of the Internal Revenue Service's definition of "gross income" restrained his desires relative to this activity.
#Absurdism101 ™
#absurdism
#absurd
#absurdist
OLD WOMAN: "Oh my. Is this the line to mail your taxes?"
ME: "God, I hope not. I'm here to buy chicken and biscuits."
*She leaves.*
;>)
#April15th #TaxDay
#April15th; current #TaxDay #mood.
You know, sometimes I miss the good old days when my son was young enough to ride on my shoulders as we went through Disneyland at the end of a long, fun day.
.... And now he makes us a couple of Manhattans and we shoot some pool, and I think, "This ain't too bad right here either."
You told me not to drive, but I made it home alive.
So you said that only proves that I'm insane.
You may be right.
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.
Turn out the light.
Don't try to save me.
You may be wrong for all I know;
But you may be right.
Don't worry; King Orange Pedo is already burning it all to the ground as we speak.
I'm "Should I consider getting a retractable awning?" years old.
I'm pretty sure God just greelit the Pope kicking Trump's fat fanny with extreme prejudice saying, "Leo, it's time to go Old Testament on King Orange Pedo's diapered ass."
#OrangeBlasphemer
Just another manic #Monday.
Final thought of the night.
Happy (day late) #Caturday to all who celebrate.
... and to those who prefer to steer clear of the whole damn thing by waiting until #Sunday.
ME: "What's with all the notepads everywhere?"
HER: "Those are for my lists: my grocery shopping list; things to do list; errands list; calls to make li--"
ME: "This is crazy. You're going a bit overboard, don't you think?"
HER:
ME:
HER: "Oh, you're on my list now, Mister."
After midnight, we're going to let it all hang down.
After midnight, we're going to chug-a-lug and shout.
We're going to stimulate some action.
We're going to get some satisfaction.
We're going to find out what it is all about.
After midnight, we're going to let it all hang down.
