Well, at least we made it to the show.

Yeah.
*sigh*

If it weren't for Arabic numerals, the Nazis would have to write out their hate speech like this:
XIV/ LXXXVIII.
I don't think they have the brain capacity for that.

They should declare their ports tariff free, then partner with Canada for free passage. Then most of the East Coast can follow suit.

Also, why is it that just days after meeting with Putin, so many world leaders fall ill?
Lukashenko, Kadyrov, Trump?
What gives?+

The first body double's hands were too big, and the second one's head is too small for the rubber mask.

Plant waste? Is that what they're calling that old fossils body?

Wow, he could probably score four,maybe five gin and tonics for that down at Caseys pub

Rotten old fruit

They've been suggesting this since Goldwater ran in '64. It's really nothing new on their part, it's just more out in the open now.

Flaming Orange idiot.

That hair tho!

Slept in my Eagles shirt, woke with a peaceful, easy feeling.

That's some expensive cheese. Rat.

Flushed

Bwahahahahaha.
AOC '26
We need a change.

I've spent many years perfecting my craft. When Pharaoh died I was chosen to design a headpiece and casket.
I created a masterpiece.
The priests were impressed and chose me to accompany the Pharaoh to the afterlife.
I worked too hard to be a slave for all eternity. I am escaping to Greece. #hbp144

Can you please tell all my American brethren that corned beef and cabbage is pure shite and no true Irishman would be caught dead with the stuff.

He just became Trumps little lap dog

They put a lot of working families out of work, and this will give them free reign to put even more working families out of work.
I liked Fetterman and his back story, but maybe it's time to put him out of work.

Have you actually talked to any of them? They're like Slim Pickens riding the bomb to their doom, Yee-Hawin' all the way down.

Newsom is the Democratic equivalent of Ron DeSantis.

I hired a skywriter and invited our friends and families watch a live instagram feed of my proposal.
Clear as day he wrote 'MARRY ME MELISSA'. Great, except her name is Marissa.
She said no.
So I refused to pay him.
The next day he wrote 'CALL ME MARISSA' with his #
They're now engaged.
#hbp136

A nice, well deserved weekend in Atlantic City. Take the elevator up to the 19th floor, unpack our bags and open the Dorito's, waiting for the inevitable knock on the window. Once it comes, the feeding frenzy begins.
#hbp135

This was the worst crime scene I've even known. Four victims, ripped apart, their tent shredded.
"Wolves?", I mused.
"yee naaldlooshii" said Yaz.
"Yee, who?"I asked.
"Skinwalkers" he replied. "Ancient shapeshifters, demons.."
"Aww, bullsh-"
"Not to the Navajo, John" he said sternly.
#hbp131

The Senators wife was a modest woman, with no vices other than having her nails done.
The new salon was perfect. She had a private room, soft relaxing music and a nice herbal tea. The effect was hypnotic.
She put her wallet in her purse, next to the .38 pistol that was not there earlier. #hbp129

After destroying Hartford, Godzilla was ready for a big city, but which one? He picked Boston.
Godzilla had a problem, a bad sense of direction and no GPS, so instead of Boston, he wound up in Vermont. In mud season.
Stuck, tired and hungry, he was captured. He is now the head of the F.B.I. #hbp128